A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm new to the whole dating thing. I have my first real boyfriend! And I love it, I love him. But there is one thing that I don't get....y do I feel kinda trapped like I can't be the same person. I am a really big flirt so it feels really different knowing that flirting with other guys is a bad thing....is what I'm feeling normal? Is it going to go away? And any tips on anything about relationship or girlfriend/boyfriend stuff would be greatly appreciated. thanks!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much :)
A
male
reader, w.w.w.  +, writes (3 May 2009):
I think it all comes down to whether you like the guy or not. Judging by your question, i think you are not ready for a steady relationship yet. So go out, have fun and worry about a relationship later.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): I think that a bit of flirting can be harmless, but it depends on why you do it. If you flirt as a way of being friendly, making someone feel comfortable with you, or as a way to break the ice with people, then I think that is okay. But if you are flirting with other guys in the hope that they will take an interest in you and want to go out with you...that suggests to me that you are not as happy with your boyfriend as you think. If you were really committed to him, you would not be interested in anyone else.
But you are young, so relationships tend to come and go, they are usually a way of trying new emotions and experiences out. So it might just be a passing relationship. Or maybe you would be better suited as friends with this guy. It's your decision.
Like the previous person said, it's not a good idea to pretend to be someone you are not. It becomes really difficult to keep up the act, and it is dishonest to the other person too I suppose. But it depends on how you feel a different person. Some people in a relationship feel like a different person in a good way. They feel happier, stronger,etc. But you say you feel trapped, so I'm guessing you feel different in a bad way. Is the relationship too intense? Does your boyfriend give you enough space? Maybe that is what you need, to take things more slowly. Or maybe you just need some more time to be single.
You are too young to be feeling trapped. Whatever you decide to do, good luck. x
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (3 May 2009):
 First tip I will give you is to be yourself.. If you try to be someone else you will end up frustrated and of course the other party will fall out of love with you because you are not the same person you were when you guys met.. of course if you acted differently to get this person, then I will say you should have taken this advice earlier.. ALWAYS BE YOURSELF.
Now of course, if you constantly go out and flirt with other guys, then of course that is bound to cause some friction because most people view flirting as a sign that you want to be with someone.. Of course, I personally view it a bit differently, I don't see much of a big harm until you actually go beyond flirting and actually start dating someone else along with your other partner.. SIMPLY, try to cut down on the flirting and just let the other person know that they are the only one you want to be with.
That's a couple of tips I can give you, but also keep in mind that at your posted age a lot of any advice can be null and void because everyone is immature at that age and views things differently and often incorrectly.. You still have a long ways to go and you might not even be with this person next month or next season.
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