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*elree
writes: I am attracted to an 18 year old girl (and she is attracted back) but I feel I shouldn't be as I am 26.Surely people of these ages are in a different place in their lives and it wouldn't work.Despite all of that I am probably going to unable to restrain myself.What am I letting myself in for? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, randyoldgit  +, writes (3 September 2015):
What you're in for is mind-blowing sex, I'm 56 and currently seeing 18 and 19 year olds, they are friends with each other but wont play together sadly, but I started seeing the 19 year old and she introduced me to her 18 year old friend and neighbour, they are happy to share but not together ??
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reader, autm +, writes (1 February 2012):
a relay good relation ship and lots care and love and and treat people the way they treat me.
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reader, HennessyBabie  +, writes (29 September 2011):
i am a 17 yr old girl and my boyfriend is 24.
i love him more than anything and i wouldn't change my relationship for anyone or anything.
my boyfriend makes me happy in ways that i feel a boy my age could never do.
i'm in my senior yr of high school, but me and my boyfriend are planning on moving in together after i graduate.
my family isn't relevantly happy about my decision on who ive decided to be with, but the way i look at it is this is my life and my relationship, i have to do what makes me happy.
and in the long run if my decision was a bad on then its jus something i would have to learn from, but i cnt learn if i dont experience it for my self.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): Hi(im new to UK nd English so im trreible in spelling, plz dnt mind the mistakes :-D ),I was 18 whn i started dating a 28 yr old guy...
now im 19 nd he is the love of my life,i wouldnt chnge a thng!
1)its impossible to satisfy all (friends,family..random people..)people always find sth to say,so i just realy dnt care if ANYONE got shocked or anythn with our 10yr age difference
2) It realy deppends on where u as indivisuals r standing,I always wanted to settle(it sounds older then im,but i just realy wanted tht)so plz talk to her she may want sth tht u dnt imagine bkuz of her age
3)The key to make it work from my exprienece is tht NEVER make ur age gap as an excuse for ur problems,rather then trying to solve it. u may hve the veryyy same problem with a girl in ur age,dnt think all the problems are just bkuz she is 18! actually try as much as u would hve tried in any other realationship to take her nd ur realtionshp serious! thts wht my lovely bf does!
4) GO 4 IT! if u dnt try u NEVER knw!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): i'm an 18 year old girl dating a 26 year old guy. Its been more than a year and we are still going strong :) The very first thing that attracted me towards him was his maturity. He never pushed me to do anything i didn't want. He's always telling me how full of life i am and how cool i am ;) hihi.
when i 1st met him i was dating a guy same age as mine. & it was real fun at 1st to be honest, but he didn't have a job neither did he have any clue what he was going to do with his life. but when i talked to my guy he was fun, had a job, had plans and was very focused, & i realized that's the type of guy i want to be with :) . Its been 6 months now we've been living together & its such a wonderful experience. I get to learn so much from him and he gets to learn much from me. We are so in love.
Best thing I ever did in my life!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): I'm a 28 year old WOMAN and I'm dating an 18 year old male!!! We both look the same age, so no one suspects anything. I didn't know he was 10 years younger than me when I asked him out, we both look the same age and he is SO mature. Polite, respectful, considerate, I honestly thought he was 35 when I met him. He is in love with me. Oh yeah, and did I mention he's a model? YUP!
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reader, Danie Berr +, writes (2 November 2010):
im 18 dating a 23 year old
fun experience =] i love it & i love how mature and open he is to expressing himself , much diff. than previous gys i ve dated my age who jus seem soooo imature compared to him n just are. i say go for it. dont let nobody influence u about the age thing. its really no biggie as long as YOU urself are okay with it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): I am currently in a situation where i have been seeing a guy who is 26 going on 27 in january and im 18. I have been seeing him for a couple years now, and to be completely honest I love him more then anything. The thing is, we have been 'seeing eachother' nothing official nothing crazy out in the open, i dont hang out with his friends and he doesnt hang out with mine, but he is at my house EVERY night, He has his own place, but as i have a 3 year old son, I dont go out often. Therefore he comes here to accomodate my schedule and spends the night etc. He is weery about it, and i kno the age thing bothers him, because hes always worried about what people will think, my parents know about us and are happy for me, because they know im very mature for my age i got my first place when i was 15 and have lived on my own as a single mother since, i start college in the fall and am goig to be an accountant. I just wish that he would take it to the next level, hes told me he loves me, and i kno hes committed he isnt seeing anyone else, and is always checkin in and making sure im not seeing anyone.. I know its unorthadox to have a " night life " relationship, but its a caring relationship, were just both very busy... But in all honestly, i know we are perfect for eachother, and would and could be together forever without any problems, i wish more than anything that he wwould just realize that, I want to tell him, or ask him rather.. But i am affriad to because i dont know what he'll say and i dont want to loose him either, id rather have him the way i do then nothing at all.. hes had really bad experiences in relationships and is scared to get hurt, and i kno this has a huge effect on the way he looks at things.
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reader, zimolta +, writes (18 August 2010):
I am 18 and my boyfriend is 26 (and will be turning 27 in 2 weeks =D ). The majority of 18 year olds have a much higher tendency to want to explore the world (hey we just turned legal) where as the majority 26 year olds have for the most part figured out where they want to go in life and are settling down onto the 'routine of life' stage.
I believe strongly in the saying that opposites attract. Dating me (an 18 year old) has really brought out the life in my boyfriend from when I first met him. We moved in together 7 months ago and have spent every hour of every day practically with each other.
So, an 18 year old can definitely excite your life and show you ways to have fun. For me as the 18 year old in the relationship my boyfriend has given me stability and my calming effect when I return home. Opposites attract.
Most 18 year olds are mature enough to know what they want in life and a lot also seek fun so it definitely has the potential to be a great relationship like mine and his!
3 3 3
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): I read through all the comments, much good advice, currently I'm in a situation like this that i dont know what to do about it. I'm 24 going on 25 in 2 years, i met a girl about a year ago, who now is 17, going on 18 in 1 month. We were just casual friends for a long time and never thought anything would come of it, however, about 3 months ago we started talking and texting each other more, and as time went on, we talked more and more and more. We hang out almost every weekend now, and talk to each other every night, for hours. Neither of us has admitted any feelings for each other, and i dont know how she feels, but i have come to have feelings for her. I dont know if or what i should say, i also dont want to ruin a good friendship by making her feel uncomfortable if i do say something and she doesnt feel the same. I think if i do i should wait until she is 18 too. She's a lot of fun to be around, and noone has ever made me smile like she does. I was with my last girlfriend for over 3 years, and in only a short time, i have already had more fun, and smiled more and really felt comfortable with, than i had the entire time i was with my ex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): It's five years between my sister and my brother in law. It doesn't sound like much now when they have been happily married for almost 20 years and have 3 kids. She's 40 and he's 45. I'm the youngest brother in my family (I'm 23.)I guess it must have been weird when she was 18 and he was 23. But with patience the age gap will get smaller with time. And I guess if it's really true love it will last :)I guess patience and mutual respect is the important thing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): I am 26, and was dating a 16(almost 17) year old. He was very sweet, and we really enjoyed one another. His parents caught wind tho, and all broke lose. They threatened to call the cops on me. Unfortunately, I had to break it off with him because of what our families thought. So if you want to be with someone that age, look into all that may come from it.
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reader, moss.daimondo  +, writes (2 July 2009):
im 18 and my bf is 27. As long as we like eachother so much then.. age doesnt matter... and unless your mom tells you to stop datin him. like mine!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): i think it is not right to date or marry someone that oplder than you..i know someone who married a 26 year old girl!he is nineteen now but was 18 when he got married!and they were married for 5 mnoths and he left her because he loved his ex and regreted ever leaving his ex the first time..they were togehter for 3 years...he does not know why he did what he did..eveyone it does not work out..she was controlling and she knew he still loved his ex!!!!!!!!!!!!now they are seperated and in the process of divorce!!they have been seperated since november 2008 and got married june 2008
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): I am a 26 year old female and I have never dated anyone that much younger then me. I do have a male friend who is 25 and dated a 19 year old. They broke it off because she wasn't mature engough for what he wanted. I think that you two should sit down and see where the relationship is going. It doesn't hurt to talk to her. I remember being 18 though and I wanted to be care free and have no boundries, just make sure you two are on the same page when it comes to your relationship.
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reader, Neika_Tonio  +, writes (28 May 2009):
I think there is nothing wrong with dating a girl who is eight year s younger - if you believe it is God's will for your life then Go for it
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): I am in that situation, I'm 19 and dating a 26 year old, he's the committed type and I love him and want to marry him as he askd me to but the problem is will my parents approve??
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): hey there !! im a 17 year old female dating a 24year old guy.we have been together for about 8months now. at first it was difficult - we thought it was just a fling so it involved alot of sneaking around (no sex involved). Then as we started to be together there was a kind of connection and we realised it was much more than just a fling/hook up. We were family friends so we never had the issue of the "MEET THE PARENTS" or anything like that, but telling our parents was difficult. Ultimately, i told my mum first because she is a really understanding person. Of course, she had her concerns but she knew that i was a very head strong person and if that i honestly thought this is what i wanted i would go for it, so she supported me. Telling my dad seemed like the hardest thing ever - i was always daddys little girl. Suprisingly, he took it really well and now days him and my partner get along great! My partners parents were really supportive to, although his mum took a little while to come around. He had been through heartbreak plenty of times before and she wasn't sure i was as serious as he might be. However, once people began to see us together they noticed just how smitten with each other we were and how we really "clicked". The age has been a problem, i wont lie. It is especially difficult when he goes out to the pub and i stay at home (i live in australia, legal age to go out is 16), but we usually overcome this because i work evenings or go out to teen partys with my friends. We both get along great with each others friends, although they thought it was "weird" at first. Soon i will be 18 (and he will be 25) and this is probably a time we are worried about. Because i will be 18 i will want to go out and party a lot etc, but im certain that we can get past it and make a compromise. I can honestly say i truly love my partner, and that age difference is rarely an issue. I was recently very sick for about 2 months ( i still am sick actually ) and constantly going in and out of hospital. To have someone there to support me and be with me was amazing, and something i wouldnt expect with a younger guy. We are very open with each other and express our emotions and opinions all the time. We fight like an old married couple but are the perfect fit for each other. Some people think its wrong at first, but even they change their opinion over time just by seeing us together. Another thing is im still a virgin, and after being with a guy 7years my senior people dont expect that. I feel that sex is a special and intimate thing, and although i dont believe entirely in 'no sex until marriage', i believe that even though i feel i am ready to experience it, that the longer i wait the more special it will become, and having a guy willing to wait for me is a blessing, and something that i wouldn't expect from any male to be honest!!I believe i will spend the rest of my life with my partner, its a bold statement, but i truly believe we were meant for each other. Our bond is like no other, and coming from broken families ourselves we wouldnt commit to each other the way we have so quickly unless we were certain that this was something special, and it really is. And its not only myself and my partner that have this opinion, family and friends can see that we are a perfect match and are positive we will end up together.I say go for it, maybe this girl isnt the dream girl for you, but unless you try it then you never know. My partner and i tried and have been blessed with true love and happiness because of it, and i would hate to see you miss out on that opportunity.best of luck - and remember; love conquers all =D
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): if you love her then go with your feelings.. just make sure that she really loves you too...this an advice:an 18 yearsold girl is:shy/loudchildish(sometimes)clumsyoutgoingfickle mindedsweet..............well, not all girls can be like this... but that's what i am.... i fell in love with a man 26yo.. he's courting me..but i decided that we can be a good friend and he promised that he will wait me until my 21yo... and i agree.. thats romantic... i love him so much...
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): Well, I'm 18 dating a 21 year old female.
and it's all going good, I say just go for it mate, you might regret it, ya might not. =)
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): I am 17 soon to be 18 and my boyfriend of 8months is 26. we met a week before my 16 birthday (he didn't know my age or did i know his) When we found out we didn't see each other and just talked for a year. We have been dating spending almost everyday together from July 13th till present. I am completely happy he treats me better then anyone and I think that has a lot to do with his age. Men tend to be more immature then females as it is. so if depends on what kind of people you are what you both want. Relationships that work work because you both what the same thing in the end has nothing to do with age. If you both wanna party then great if you both want a family then great gotta figure that out for yourself!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): You should go for it, love is simply love, it does not take account of age.
Infact in Chinese astrology perfect matches are often many years apart e.g. Someone born in the year of the monkey would match perfectly - the only match to get 10/10 - with someone born in the year of the rat but a rat is either eight years older or younger than a monkey.
Good luck and congratulations for finding love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): i think its completly normal...love has no borders im 18 and im attracted to a 26 going on 27 yrs old....and who cares what people think its your personal love life and its not like everywhere you go with him or her your age was written on your forheads...its your choice if you really love her.
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reader, bamahottie09 +, writes (2 March 2009):
I met my husband when I was 18 and he was 26. We got married 13 months after meeting and have been happily married since then. We have our issues like any other married couple but in the time we've been together our age has NEVER been an issue. Now I am 23 and he is 31 and we are expecting our first child together. So if you both want to....go for it!
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reader, trigger6105 +, writes (15 June 2008):
hey. im a 26 year old guy will be 27 in a week and a half. i recently started talkin to my friends 18 yr old sister, now please note tho, we arent dating yet, cuz shes still in highschool, she just had her prom. but we arent gonna date untill she graduates completely only because i dont want extra stress on her shoulders, upon her finals. but anyways, i have so much respect for her and understanding yes probably cuz im older but still whats wrong with that right?=) but recently it seems like we drifted apart, i try talkin to her threw text messaging, and i hardly get responses or even picture mails from her . it all stopped. i kno her friends tend to feed her bullshit, about my age, and shes the type of girl that will do what others say to do instead of doin what she thinks is right so that leaves me hangin out to dry. recently she tryed things with a 16 yr old guy, but yet suddenly she wanted things to be cool again with me n her. so once again i have my guard up, i just feel that i fell too deep for her and im gonna pay the price for it, , all im sayin man, is just makesure shes stable in her thoughts for bein committed to you, i wouldnt wanna see u heart broken all because of, a change of mind on her end, or having her friends fill her head with negativity about ur age. good luck to you keep us updated =D
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): Well i just came out of a relationship with a 27 yr old guy. I am 18. well im not saying that i cant work but in my experience at this age most persons want to feel free and carefree so problem may arise. however with love you can get through everything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): im 16...and im dating a 27 year old. whenever i tell people ...of course you're going to get wierd looks from people. but i try not to let it bother me. he is the sweetest guy i have ever been with and treats me good.so im nto complaining.
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reader, just because +, writes (9 March 2008):
actually my self im dating and living w/ my 18y.o.bf weve been together for 3 months and known each other for 3 years and honestly I DO LOVE HIM and if you are really if you have to question your relationship as in the question your asking may be you should be asking are you really ready to be in this relationship? Because as far as what I can say about dating and living with my 18 y.o.bf (at my house not my mom's house)is that Im VERY HAPPY. Don't get me wrong we do got our bad times but I've noticed about him he likes to talk it out and doesn't like to leave the house room knowing that we have a problem.but thats my situation you will never know unless you give and take that chance if you want and know that theirs always going to be RISKS and that's what LIFE is ALL ABOUT....
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): Well I am a 19 year old female currently seeing a 26 soon to be 27 year old male. He's a great guy, however i'm being realistic when I tell him im not ready for a relationship right now its not that I don't want to be in a relationship or settle down however at 27 years old. He wants different things then I do, i'm still young and being realistic, I want to enjoy my youth, go out, have fun. Could you guys make it work? Of course, you can make anything work. Just make sure you're both going into this with open eyes, because she might be into you now but at 18 she's just starting with freedom. Wait until she's 21 and can go out and do anything. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): hey im a 16 year old who's attracted 2 a 28year old. We arent in a relationship cos i think ppl would b against this as they would think im immature at 16. But at 18 the age gap doesnt sound as bad, so i would personally go 4 it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): Hey, Im 32, and Im dating a 18 yr old woman. I love her and she loves me. Just go for it.
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reader, itzel +, writes (29 October 2007):
hi my name is Itzel im 18 years old and i like a 26 year old person... we are just friends for know but we do get along we talk and have a good conversation... i think that u should go for it and try to keep it the way that both of u comfortable. don't let other get into ur relationships.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): wow, you should definitely go for it. The really important thing is that you are both on the same maturity level or else you will really have problems. I am in love with a 22 year old and I'm 18, I know I'd want someone to tell him to go for it if he were you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007): well i am 26 going out with a 18 yr old 4 3 years now whoops and we are happy in love and getting married parents are cool with it and so are we xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): hey i am a 15 year old gal and im dating a 20 year old guy.. take my advice or fly a kite:
you are not letting yourself in for nothing , you shouldnt care what people think! if you really love her and wont hurt her then let people know that.. if you just be honest and let everyone know how you feel there shouldnt be a problem!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): well i am going trough this relationship with aguy that is 26 but he is the best thing that ever happen in my life i love him and he loves me we arent marrief yet but we are planing on it we are giving each other time but we really love each other and i know that me and him will be together for a really long time cause i understand him and he understands me that is one thing that you should know between a relationship you should always have trust on each and understand each other to so your relationship can last for ever and always be there for that person when he more needs you~
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reader, mystify +, writes (3 January 2006):
 hi i am a 26 year old woman married to a guy who turned 19 just recently , we have our problems but none of them are age related, in fact i am the one in the relationship that loves to party while he is happy for once in a while and everyone thinks im younger when we meet people. its about the person not the age...you could meet someone born the same year as you who wants so differant things and not ready for things you want or you could meet someone 20 years younger or older who connect with you on every level....give her the chance, at least then she wont be the one you let get away, always wondering what could of been
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2005): I am a 16 year old female in a similar situation. The guy does not feel as though our relationship is right, even though I feel that the only two that really matter is him and me. I just want him to be comfortable with our situation, and to not feel guilty if something does happen before we're both ready. We both have strong feelings for one another, and there is nothing wrong with that. When two people come together, sometimes their personalities just click and emotions just run the course from there. You can't always control what happens, so just embrace the situation and try not to worry so much. If it is really meant to be, your relationship will last and it will not matter what stage you are in your lives.
My advice is to be supportive of where she is in her life, and let her know what is going on in yours. If you two listen to eachother and understand that your lives may be different, everything will work out. If you do this, it will not be anything to worry about when your relationship becomes sexual.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): Back again- I'm the one who left the message below- 18yo met a 26 yo guy...
Maybe we're talking about each other here!? Woulnd't that be a coincidence? You never know!
Hey and call me soon! LOL!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): You must let her know what you want. I am in exactly the same situation at the moment- I am only 18 and have met a 26yo guy. I really am mature for may age, but have friends that don't understand this, and I would like an open relationship wiht some1, maybe nothing too serious but just fun and monogamous.
I want fun and trust at the same time.. maybe this 18 yr old is like me!?
I just hope that my 26yo guy wants something similar to me.. but all my friends say that he'd only want sex.. Ah well.. as long as I'm happy, right?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2005): I think it depends on how mature she is. When I was 18, I dated a 26 year old as well. I have always been far more mature than other girls my age. I never partied or was like the "typical" 18 year old. Because of that, we got along great and we have been together for a little over a year.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2005): hi im 15 and im attracted to a 26 yr old, as he is back, personally age doesnt matter she old enough to know hat she wants and if she is mature enough for you and you do really like her i dont see anything wrong with it, her parents mightnt be to happy about it, but i you end up falling in love with this girl then nothing can stop you, you'll never know unless you take the risks so go for it but take caution, and dont break her heart
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (12 December 2005):
 Speaking as a woman who, at 18, married a 26-year-old, I can give you some small insight into the "downsides" you can expect.
***She's likely to be intimidated by your same-age friends, because they have university degrees and marriages and kids and jobs and mortgages, none of which she'll be able to related to or discuss with any facility.
***She may be a bit clumsy in the conversational arena, making comments like "My math teacher said..." and "All the guys at my school are..." (It takes a while to realise that high school doesn't matter any more.)
***She'll probably be a bit annoying at times, indulging in petty pouts and arguments.
***Almost everyone you meet will give you a sly smile and assume that you're only with her for the sex.
***She still has a lot of partying in her system, so if you're not up for all-nighters, with hordes of drunken, vomiting teens on your front lawn, you probably should brace yourself.
I know that this all sounds like I'm putting down the young woman, but that's not the intention. I only say these things because I've BEEN that girl. Ultimately, I was seriously unhappy in the relationship, because I grew up to be a different person at 23 than I was at 18. (We divorced.)
So, if you decide to date her, keep your eyes open and please don't let it get too serious. Make very sure that she knows where you stand at all times, particularly if you two have sex, because then she's bound to think you're "in love" with her - it's the way 18-year-old minds are designed!
Be aware that at 18 she's not going to have the same level of sophistication as you may have and as you might be used to, but that doesn't mean you can't teach her a little about relationships in the adult world, and both of you enjoy each other's company.
And please don't just give in to your rampant temptations, without making sure that she also understands what kind of relationship you're after.
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reader, happytochat +, writes (12 December 2005):
Ok so is your question what are the possible outcomes and results of you and the 18 year old girl getting together? Well first I guess it depends on what is meant by getting with her. Are you meaning to try a serious relationship? Or just more like a casual one, liek a fling?
You say you can't retain yourself, is that because of the attraction? If so well then why not let it just be simply that, a fling, not an actual relationship, (and of course both parties have to be happy with this so maybe talk about it to her first what you want out of it) so that way the issue of you both being at differnt points in your life ownt interfear.
I think you both need to sit down and discuss the issues. Discuss all the obsticles that will arise. things such as do you both want a serious realtionship (if not, dont make the mistake of getting involved and setteling for less), will you liek to get married one day in the near future, where as she may not as she as younger, children, study- is she attending uni or tafe as an 18 year old so she might be more foccused on that then having a bf, do your parents accept the possible relationship. There are sooo many issues you both can discuss and should do if you want this to work. I think it IS posible for it to work out, BUT you have to talk about it. You have to both come up with plans and compromises to work it all out. Do you get what I mean?
It seems to me that so far this relationship is just dating and not to serious and you havent really expressed feelings of wanting to be with her for the rest of your life. So perhaps to save possible heartbreak, maybe dont get involved. I know you said you feel like you wont be bale ot retain yourself, but I think you can. You just have to tell yourself no. Keep telling yourself that. Ask yourself do you want to get inolved with a girl and get really attached then have to break it off becasue of the differences that wont let it work? wil you want that? remind yourself of the possiuble bad outcomes, that should put you off right. So perhaps you would like to consider ending all the possibilities of getitng with her now, before you become so attached.
I hope I have helped, im sorry if i havent. perhap ask what your close friends and family think about it. And most of all talk to her about it! good luck!
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