A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I met a man 2 weeks before through a friend. We hit it off and have met a couple of times ever since. He did tell me that he has been divorced last year and has a 3 yr old child. his ex wife and child lives in another country, he visits his child from time to time. We have been sort of physically intimate with each other but no sex. i told him i would like to take things slow and he accepted it. He's been so sweet ever since we met. He tried to hook up my friend with one of his colleagues who he thought would be perfect (we're going on a double date tomorrow), last weekend he cooked lunch for me and my friends just for fun, he goes out of his way to pick me up and drop me to my place though he lives 50 minutes away and yesterday he called me at 10 pm and took me for ice cream which was a surprise :) he's so different from all the other guys i met and i like him. However, we're going slow and he'll be going on vacation next week for a whole month to visit his parents and his son. I don't know if we're going to stay in touch or if we'll see each other once he's back. He wants to spend this weekend with me and we're also planning to go on a mini break before he leaves. I don't know if i should ask him about our relationship status or just keep quiet and see if he will be in touch with me when he leaves and would like to see me when he gets back or not. What should i do??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sugar_sugar  +, writes (13 August 2009):
 Ask him! You will drive yourself crazy while he's away wondering what your boundaries are, and if you're anything like many other females your frustration with the situation may lead you to raise the issue while he is away, through sms/email/phonecall - which is so much worse than face to face.It sounds like you've found yourself a pretty good catch, and even if it was only some short term fun you should really discuss this to set your mind at ease.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): I started dating a new guy for a month before he went overseas a month ago. He was much less enthusiastic than your guy before he left and did nothing like cooking lunch for me and my friends, driving far to see me, or talking about weekends away! It sounds like he likes you a lot! I decided before he went away that it was best not to ask for clarification or anything until we'd got to know each other more after he got back. With some guys, it can scare them off, particularly if he's got some things to organise before he leaves and he's not expecting to have to do any soul searching. Give him a chance to miss you and get in touch with you while he's gone. If you haven't heard from him, get in touch with him after he's been there for 5-6 days and ask how it's going, how his son is, etc. I'm sure he'll be in touch with you before then though, because he sounds so keen on you :) The guy I was seeing got in touch after a few days and we've been emailing back and forth since.
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