A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm a married woman having an affair with a married man from work. we've been doing this for 8 months. we've known each other 7 years. we see each other almost every day.we meet just to talk. we have seen each on weekends. it's getting harder to stay apart from each other. has anyone out been through this. if so any advice. what should we expect? we don't want to hurt anyone.
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affair, married man, married woman Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you eddie85. you saved 2 marriages. We talked things over,and I was able to switch jobs. Our spouses don't know anything. And everyone is happy.
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (10 January 2011):
 You say you don't want to hurt anyone, yet you're married and he's married. How is an affair not going to hurt your spouses? Do you honestly believe this is acceptable? Wake up, look beyond your own selfish wants and step away before any real damage is done.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): Well, by defult you have already hurt them. Sometimes I think that we enjoy a relationship when it is not for granted. The moment we make sure it is for granted we fail to enjoy. You are enjoying your new relation not because ur new guy is better that your husband in all accounts but it is because it is not for granted. That creats apin and we love the pain.
Try to put your energy in ur marriage the same way as you put in your affair. Make every moment with your husband enjoyable.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (9 January 2011):
 I agree with DanceInTheDark, you are going to hurt your husband and his wife. That's a fact and there's really no way around that fact.
You may get lucky and be able hide this for the time being, in which case you are going to hurt yourself. A part of you will always want to be with him and you'll be in agony when he is with his wife.
I think you are hoping to have your cake and eat it too and there's really no way to avoid pain on this one. Pick your poison and move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous39  +, writes (9 January 2011):
Yes! I had known this man for almost 8 years, just a friend, we did not work together. We would se each other every once and a while. Then last spring we starting texting each other, at first very normal things (we both travel quite a bit for our jobs) then it started to change and become playful, then sexual.
One day he kissed me and from then on we could not keep our hands off of each other.
When we did sleep together it was passionate and hungry, however the next day we both were going crazy with guilt.
We stopped, we both knew it was wrong, we don't want to leave our marriages and we decided to step away from each other. That was in October, we still chat every once in a while but nothing sexual.
We've moved forward and it has not changed our relationships with our spouses; maybe improved it a bit.
Ask yourself this question; Why am I drawn to this man?
I did, and realized there was a decrease in the communication, attention in my marriage.
Just do not tell your spouse unless you plan on leaving. Why hurt them!
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark +, writes (9 January 2011):
 You say you don't want to hurt anyone? Yet you're CHEATING on your spouses? You're BETRAYING their TRUST, and your COMMITMENTS.
What you should expect TWO heart broken spouses, and TWO broken marriages.
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