A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hmmm... well let's see. I have just very recently started seeing a great guy. He is somewhat older than me, but has also told me that he is bisexual, and has slept with men in the past. At the same time, all of our conversations have been very flirtatious, there's obviously chemistry between us etc. and I think he's really into me.I have never been involved with a bisexual man before. It's still very early on in the relationship but I have these little niggles - like, does him being bisexual mean he likes women (that is, me) AS MUCH as a straight man likes women? We haven't slept together yet but he is very flirty and is constantly checking me out - but, I don't know, there's always this slightly effeminate air to him as well... which is really confusing me! Can a bisexual man just "turn off" the part that is attracted to guys if he is with a girl or vice versa? Maybe it's stupid to ask but I just wonder how these things work.Anyone with experience with this, I would love your take on it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): I had met someone really great. A wonderful man, and I'm sorry this man was anything BUT feminine. 6'2, blonde/blue, 200lb. Masculine and extremely attractive. Early 30's. I would of never imagined he liked men, ever. This is the kind of guy that probably could of got any woman he wanted, great personality, heart, etc. And yeah, successful.He only did the MMF thing once apparently many years ago(so he told me, it may have been more) but he still considered himself bi. It didn't make much sense to me, I had the same question as you, what does that mean, he's straight now, that's he's with me? He told me he doesn't look at men when he's out, etc. His relationships are ONLY with women. He doesn't want candle light dinners with men or dates with men. It's purely physical/sexual.He told me it's not something he needs and when he's committed to somebody, he's committed to them only. He had asked me to marry him. I needed some time to think about things..I decided that I'm not the best person for him. We clicked every other way. But when you love someone you want them to be complete, for them to lack nothing, for them to want nothing. But there is certain things myself that I would and would not allow, so he could of never been 100% complete, and I love him too much for him to be only 99%. Even though he said it didn't matter, etc. I think he needed someone more open minded that would of let him and her get some man-love every so often.Good Luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): Even if the guy really likes you, he will always find other guys attractive as well as other women but if the guy is a decent one and he is into you as much as he says then this will no longer be an issue, all bisexual people are trying to find the right person as much as straight.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): Yea, the others are right - he's never gonna completely turn that side of himself off. Anyway, would you be happy in the knowledge that the thing he's screwing you with has previously been stirring other guys' poo?
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 Why don't you just ask him! And the other poster is right. Sexuality is not a choice. He is not going to just wake up one morning and decide that he isn't going to bump uglies with another guy.
And yes, Bi-sexual (and gay men as well) tend to give off an effeminate air in many instances.
If you are comfy with it, then that is all that matters. Who knows, maybe you can get involved in a spit roast!
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