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female
,
anonymous
writes: I think I may be incapable of falling in love! I started dating when I was 15 and now at 24 I have still never fallen in love. I have dated some amazing men gorgeous, rich, funny, sweet. But to no avail I never feel anything. My coworkers and friends have nicknamed me sweet november because I have a new man every month and always get sick of them and have a new one in a matter of days. I am a college grad with a good job and have no problem finding men who fall for me, but how do I fall for them. I've never been hurt and actually wish I would be able to feel that emotion. What do I do? I don't want to end up alone with no kids and 100 cats?
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female
reader, tinkerbell +, writes (6 January 2006):
The first question I would ask you is if you are happy to be alone?
Do you date guys because you don't want to end up alone and therefore give each and every guy the chance of being with you to see if they are the one?
Sorry if this sounds harsh but, if you always get sick of the guys you meet then you may be dating them for the sake of it. Try and work out what it is that makes you bored of them, what part of their personality is annoying you and stay clear of men like that.
Being spoilt for choice can be such a hinderance, I went through my 20's exactly like that, but if I'm honest its because I wanted to be in relationship too much and I didn't take the time to work out what sort of man I wanted to be with!
Write a list of things you do want and don't want from a man and a relationship and measure them up against it! Work out what type of man is worthy of your love and attention and don't waste time giving it to any who are not! Unless you are clear upfront that its a one night date - take it or leave it!
Good luck and have patience - you'll find it when you are least expecting it so if I was you I'd spend my time being happy with who you are with or without a man.. the rest will just follow :)
A
female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (6 January 2006):
 I wouldn't worry too much. It seems like we always find something meaningful when we aren't looking very hard, so STOP looking. You're only 24. You still have plenty of time. For now, just focus on yourself. Figure out what you want in a relationship and in a prospective partner. You need to get a feel for this--you get bored way too easily, and you're probably hurting a lot of guys in the process! When you're sure what it is that you want (you've already assessed that you don't want simply superficial things like looks and money), you'll be able to recognize the right person when he comes along, and you'll stop having fleeting, meaningless relationships. Heck, the one-month relationships that you're limiting yourself to don't allow you enough time to develop feelings of love in the first place!
No one is incapable of falling in love. Love is a basic human need. But we all experience love differently and define it according to our own personalized views. You'll know when you feel it. Just because you haven't felt it yet doesn't mean that you never will. You're just saving it for the right person, perhaps, but you won't know that he is the one if you get sick of him right away and don't give him a fair chance!
Good luck!
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