A
female
age
26-29,
*indymae
writes:I am currently 15 years old and I'm dating a 21 year old I've known for 3 and a half years, we've been together for 6 months and my mom approves but my father doesnt. if my dad tries to turn him in will it work since Mom approves and he doesnt know if we're being sexually active? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2012): Although you won't realize until you are a few years older/wiser, your "boyfriend" is a predator and needs to be reported to the cops.
When I was 14, I was in a similar situation (although not sexually active) and believed that he was different, and what we had was true love... it wasnt. He was just a sick man who couldn't a lady his own age and it's the same with yours.
Do you think it sounds normal, and safe for a 21 year old man to show interest in a child? No, didn't think so.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): Agree with Cerberus, if I was your father I'd call the cops and throw bf's ass in jail for statutory rape ASAP.
Shame on your mother. She must be hell-bent on becoming a grandma because she is doing her very best to make sure you'll have gotten yourself knocked up before junior prom.
Guys his age who go after girls your age are almost always sick puppies who can't get within miles of young women their age because they know they will be mocked, scorned and laughed off, so they turn to naive impressionable girls like you who can't make the distinction between age and maturity.
I wouldn't be surprised at all if your mother conceived you under similar circumstances. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): Yes it will work and he will go to jail and will be registered as a sex offender because it's illegal.
OP the police aren't idiots if he decides to get you arrested and you lie to them about this he will get even more jail time for obstruction. He's 21 he knows the risks and is willing to take them. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
It's basically at your fathers discretion what he does but I would definitely go to the cops and even if you both lied through your teeth and said nothing was happening I would get a restraining order against him to stay away from you and have no contact with you.
This guy has been working on getting you since you were 11 and he was 17, he's a sick puppy and needs to be taken down.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (27 August 2012):
 OP, why do you think it is just the boy/man who is at risk of a custodial sentence? Technically, you are both breaking the same law and face the same consequences.
True, it is rarer for the female to be imprisoned, but still possible.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): Reader anonymous - The OP IS a kid herself, she should not be in a relationship sexual or not with a 21 year old adult. Can I ask if your attitude towards this is the attitude you would adopt towards a daughter of your own in this situation?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): Well are you being sexually active?
And depending on the law where you are it may/may not be illegal for an adult to have sexual relations with a 15 year old, but I think in most places of the world it is, and if found out the consequences carry a prison sentence and a mention on the sex offenders register for your boyfriend.
Personally I disagree with you mum's take on this relationship and have to agree with your dad. At the age of 15 you are still a minor and your boyfriend at 21 is an adult.
I think its disgusting and morally wrong, but as I said, it depends on your local law regarding this sort of thing, it maybe legal...I don't know where you're from in the world, but in the UK where I am from, any adult caught having a sexual relationship with an underage girl will most likely go to prison and spend 10 years with their name on the sex offenders register.
In my opinion, if it is illegal I'd do as your dad wants, and end this forbidden relationship before your boyfriend ends up behind bars and with a bad reputation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): Yes, it will work, and your mom could get in trouble as well for allowing statutory rape. It's not like getting a tattoo where it's ok if there's parental consent. Nobody can give their permission for someone to break the law.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 August 2012):
 If dad WISELY turns him in he will go to jail if you are sexually active.
you are a child.
your mom is an enabler and when you get older you will realize how she's NOT protecting you by allowing this predator to be with you.
your mother approving horrifies me.
I hope your dad finds out and reports the creep I'm sorry this is so very very wrong on so many many levels....
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (27 August 2012):
 CindyMae,
What on earth makes you think Dad doesn't know?
You've known him since he was 17 and you were 11.
You have been dating since you were 14 and he was 20.
There is only one reason a boy that old dates a girl that young. He isn't man enough to attract a Woman his own age.
FA
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (27 August 2012):
Are you sexually active? If so, you should not be. As far as the law goes, a legal age of consent is just that. If a young person is under that legal age, which varies from place to place so find out what yours is if you don’t know, it is assumed that that young person cannot consent to sex and so anyone who has sex with them has effectively taken advantage of them and there can be legal consequences for this. Remember that sex without consent is called rape! Not a nice word, you might think, but we’re talking here about how the law views it, not how it feels for you. So, if you are sexually active, this needs to stop at once, you’re too young, and your 21 year-old boyfriend is putting himself at risk of legal action. I assume that where you live, 15 is under your legal age of consent. Whether your mother approves or not would be irrelevant. If you’re not having sex, your Dad can make an allegation but it’s doubtful that it would get anywhere because there would be no evidence to support it.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): Depending what the legal age of consent is where you live, your Dad could put him in and your boyfriend could be charged with statutory rape whether your Mum approves or not, because the law states that you are not old enough to be having sex or to be deciding that you are ready. Your boyfriend should not be sexually active with you until you are of legal age at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): you sound responsible despite your young age. I would say dont tell your dad in the meantime, because if 18 is the age of consent in the US then he could report your boyfriend. I would say this relationship is wrong but since your mother is overseeing it and knows about it then maybe she feels your boyfriend is good for you. 15 is very young to be sexually active although it is common enough nowadays. I know you didnt come here for a lecture, but I would say make sure you are on birth control like the pill AND USE CONDOMS. you dont want to mess up your life with a kid at your age you have another 30 years for that. also make sure you keep friends of your own age as you need to have younger people to hang out with too. good luck.
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