A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last night, I did something really bad. I don't know why, I think maybe curiosity as it was a friend more than anything.But now I really, really regret it and feel so guilty. And it's a bit worse.I sent some "private" pictures to a friend (we weren't really that close, not in too much contact recently - not at all now!) and in return got some back.For some reason, he turned nasty and has threatened to "tell my boyfriend" about it. He knows of my boyfriend, but they are not friends, do not speak to each other and probably only walk past each other in the corridor about once per year in Uni!I'm not sure if they were empty threats or not, I of course said "Well I'll send your pictures round to friends" to which he said "I don't care, it doesn't bother me."I think that was a lie, firstly, "gay" is against his religion (and is not accepted). So he would first have questions as to WHY he accepted these pictures in the first place. Secondly, I doubt he even has them, he said he would "get a friend round to get them back". Would you really ask a friend to use complicated measures to get naked pictures of a male back? Thirdly, who wouldn't be embarrased of such pictures being shown to your friends!All this has led to me thinking it is an empty threat and I shouldn't say anything. But there is always that "but what if he does..." in the back of my mind.The right thing would be to admit it to my boyfriend straight away, as I would guess it sounds better coming from you, rather than someone else. However, the guy might never say anything to him and I could cause a lot of upset that could be avoided.I literally feel sick with worry! I don't want sympathy on that, I know what I did was utterly, utterly wrong and I regret it. I do love my boyfriend, and this has shown me how much I actually do care and love him so much - it would kill me to lose him! You could ask why I did it in the first place, I don't know, the heat of the moment, curiosity - certainly not through love or any feelings.I would never, ever do anything like this again. The thought of hurting my boyfriend is now killing me inside!So, I'm so stuck on what to do. Do I say nothing (with the guess that the other guy has just as much to lose as me), put it behind me as just one big mistake and move on, with my boyfriend not knowing and staying happy - after all if I tell him it could all be for nothing and just cause lots of trouble! OR, do I tell him as it would be better coming from me? (However, I think the hurt would be the same if it came from me, or this guy) However doing this, could be pointless as the other guy could have just been making empty threats, and I'm not even sure he does have the pics 100%. He must be worried about himself too!As I said, I do love my boyfriend so much, I would never do this again, it was such a big mistake that is unexplainable and unjustifiable... but it was just a slip up - I'd never, ever do it again. It was once, and over the internet. Please, what would others suggest I do???
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male
reader, MyDestiny  +, writes (6 February 2009):
 yes you should really take your own advise.. it really needs to come from you empty threats or not if he hears it from somebody else its gonna be harder on you and you're gonna a more to explain.. tell him what happened, and tell him sorry you are and how mnuch you love him you've got to promise him you'd never do something like dat to him again gudd luck-peace
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