A
female
age
30-35,
*iffany-_-
writes:im turning 17 years old next month.. and i been in a relationship for about a year now. he sometimes can be very controling and i want to have fun in my life.. and latey the relationthip has been dull. i kind of like this guy who is a few years older than me, but his sister says he has a girlfriend. but my boyfriend and some other people that i hang out with says that he flirts and that he looks at me sometimes. but i'm afraid i might be shut down and be alone... what should i do??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): I just wanna say that you've gotta stop being afraid of being alone.
It's normal to not wanna stay single for years & decades or anything. But if you can't handle being single AT ALL (like just for a few months in a row sometimes) then you will end up in messed-up relationships because of it.
Fear of being alone can't be why you stay in a relationship. If it is, then you'll stay in unhealthy relationships too long, and this is NOT a harmless thing to do. This will emotionally damage you and it will eventually begin screwing up your relationships. Even relationships that should have been healthy ones.
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (9 March 2008):
 Ask yourself one question though, do you enjoy being in this controlling relationship? If the answer is no then you should end it.
You are still very young and I cannot see for one second why you would end up alone, if you were 40/50 or even 60 then I might understand why you feel this way but you are young and you are also attracting other men, do not feel that you should stay in a relationship just so that you are not on your own, women are powerful creatures and we can survive without a man in our lives so never be afraid to be on your own, this is taking time out for you and only you. Start to rediscover you as a person.
If this other guy is truly interested then you leave the way clear for him to show you whether he really likes you or not and if he has a girlfriend then you have a choice of saying to him I am now not in a relationship but I don't want to be with someone who is as it just isn't fair to that other person.
Be strong and stay positive, you are young and right now you have the world at your feet.
Do things you want to do and not what others say you must.
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
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