A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 17 y/o boy and have had a crush on a straight guy at school since I was 14. My feelings for him have only grown stronger and I'm starting to develop an obsession its worrying. Ive tried to get over him but nothing works. Help! What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): Just find a new guy to crush on, preferably one that's gay and might like you too. You know this is going nowhere if this guy is straight, and you're just torturing yourself. If you can keep it as fantasy that's fine, but if it's really making you unhappy then you need to stop fixating on him for your own good.
There are definitely other gay guys in your school - it might be very difficult to spot them because lots of guys have to learn to keep it hidden (fear of unpleasant reactions from classmates) but you're 17, not long to go now before you're old enough to get out there and meet lots and lots of men! Good luck, you'll be fine.
A
male
reader, Ricemonster  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 The problem is caused by the lack of substance in your life. Therefore it's not avoiding it, but trying to counter it. Avoiding a problem is if you two are in a relationship and he cheated on you, but pretend that nothing is wrong, even if it clearly bothers you.
Once you get your life on track and going, you may still have feelings for him, but your world would have broaden by then. Rather than feel 'small' and restricted, you may feel as though the world is your playground and the possibilities limitless. Right now, you're stuck just thinking about him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): Ok im in the same position as you! we should go out!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionRicemonster thank you for the excellent response, I will try and take as much of your advice on board as I can, but if I just avoid him and fill my life up with activities isn't that just ignoring the problem? Is it just holding it off? Would I be running away from the problem if I avoid him?
I need your help.
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A
male
reader, Ricemonster +, writes (20 October 2010):
It's the hormones and the lack of substance in your life that makes you become more and more obsessed with him. Forgive me, I am only assuming in the substance aspect.
To counter such a foe, you must fill your life up with things that keep you busy. I heard World of Warcraft is pretty addicting, but it can turn out worst than being obsessed about the boy. ^_^
Take on hobbies, extra curricular activities, get some more friends, avoid him, speak to your school counselor - to name a few.
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