A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi I'm an 18 year-old girl and I've got a problem that has probably been discussed countless times before - I have the hugest, most overpowering crush on a female teacher :(She inspires me so much - she is passionate about her subject which i am going on to study at university, she has accomplished everything i aspire to accomplish and she is very beautiful. I have a difficult relationship with my mother and many social insecurities... making me painfully aware of a need for nurture and care from someone. I've had numerous crushes on female teachers through secondary school and college and I'm fed up.I know this woman is unattainable but it hurts so much :( Any tips for moving on/ trying to heal this void within myself? Would it be wrong to let her know how i feel once i have left college? I know she is single and she mentions homosexuality a lot in class - please give me some advice.x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2006): Hi. I have felt exactly the same way you do.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (5 February 2006):
To move on I would look at the qualaties you admire in this women and look for them in others. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be cared for. You must not see this as a bad thing, its just who you are. We all have needs and they are not just restricted to what we need to keep us biologically functioning.
While you are looking for a suitable and obtainable partner look to draw nurture from your friends. It is not the same as the love of a partner but it is something nonetheless. Friendships are subject to less strain than relationships anyways so they are a much stabler source of what you need.
I don't think it would be wrong to tell her how you feel when you leave college. Just don't hope too much for a positive response. Dont postpone looking elsewhere until that day. It maybe that expressing how you feel for this person will be the final act of closure but hopefully by then you will have found somebody who has all the qualities you look for and provides you with all the nurture you need. Good luck and take care.
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