| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi Everyone, I am 27 years old and in an accelerated nursing program. I have a crush on my clinical instructor. I thought he liked me too, I think he is not married (no ring) and he is maybe 10 years older than me. The reasons I think he likes me is the first time he met me he stared at me for a minute (it was kind of embarrassing), then he was paying attention to me in lecture standing behind my chair drumming his fingers against the back of it as he was talking. This made me uncomfortable. I think he was really sexually attracted to me because of how I look. And this made me uncomfortable. But, over the last few weeks I have become attracted to him. At first I played dumb in class and jokingly acted like I didn't take it seriously. Then, one class I showed off how smart I was and how much I knew and I think this impressed him. The next week he worked with me for the first half of class. He came right over to my group to help us. But, then we were doing a very hands on exercise with the lights off (testing for eye reflexes, moving like right in front of the person with an opthalmascope in the dark!) He walked up to our group, I was standing there with the instrument, then he turned on his heal and helped the group in the back! I was kind of insulted. I was the star student. Lol. I think he maybe became worried about doing the exercise with my group and me because of how intimate was? It would make him uncomfortable because of his sexual attraction? Is this possible?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2013): He has to be impartial and fair to all his students. He has to keep a professional distance regardless of his marital status. Why don't you behave like a proper student and allow him to do his job?
You're behaving like a horny high-school student, and that is what's making him uncomfortable.
Can you find it in yourself to stick to the academics like the rest of the hardworking students? That's what you're there for.
He is there to teach, not pickup flirtatious students. Other women in the class are noticing your behavior, and sooner or later it will get back to you. It won't be pleasant.
It's obvious when a student has a thing for the instructor, you send out signals voluntarily and involuntarily. You want his attention and you're going to go out of your way to get it. You're not as discreet as you may think. He may feel you're just trying to get a good grade without the work. In his experience as an instructor; he's seen it all before.
Cool your jets. It's a childish schoolgirl crush, and should be controlled. You're going to embarrass yourself
in-front of the other students. They eventually catch on.
Rumors could draw unwanted attention to both of you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 September 2013):
 Honey, whether you are dumb as a rock or the star student, you are not the only student in his class - he NEEDS to help them all. My guess he he chose another group because you do fine.
Also he is a teacher/instructor so I really think you need to check your romantic notions at the door.
He is not there to find a GF, but to teach.
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