A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi.I have a crush on an EXTERMLY shy femaleWhat do I do?When I compiment her she tells me that I'm embrassing her...
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male
reader, Birdman21  +, writes (28 January 2011):
Girls like this tend to be very friend dependent. Find one of her closest friends who is a bit more outgoing and build a platonic friendship. Maybe she'll shoot you a "nice guy" or is "kind of cute but not for me" mention in passing conversation. That might turn the tide a bit.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): You could just bite the bullet and ask her out.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 January 2011):
 I can really relate to this girl. And a boy once came into the library to tell me he loved me. I was still very young and I did not know how to handle it.
At the time I think I spluttered out, 'but you don't know me.' and at the time he did not know me.
But once had to admire his quiet persistence.
He knew I did my homework with my (male) cousin. So he made himself useful to my Aunt, talking to my Aunt, impressing my Aunt. Then he worked on my cousin, asking him if he could do his homework with us. No objection from my Aunt, who thought He was a nice boy by then.
I nearly died when, when I turned up after school, and I found he was there. He found ways to catch my eyes. He started to melt me a little.
But his timimg was wrong, and he was not patient enough. Nor persistent enough. He gave up on me before I warmed to the idea of him.
So lesson here is more patience, and hasten very slowly. And hang in there.
A super confident or a very public or flamboyant extravagant noisy approach will not work with this girl.
Go quietly with this very shy girl.
Is she around the same age as you? It is likely that she does not yet feel confident. And it will take time for her confidence to grow.
Walk beside her, but allow silence rather than try to make conversation, unless she makes a remark requiring an answer.
I do not think she will mind silences.
Are there activities that she does, where you could concurrently do that activity together.
I was thinking of volunteer activities or community activities.
But just lunch together, not interacting in a noisy way, may be the only options initially.
As long as she is not threatened by her presence. As long as your presence seems natural, explainable, and does not draw attention to the two of you.
Try to see if there are things you can do together where you focus on the task you share, rather than helping a
relationship to blossom.
This is to get her comfortable with you.
So if it's lunch time, and you see her sit, walk over to the table or seating area, and smile, ask if the seat is taken. If not, sit down, start to eat your lunch, but don't push to start a conversation. Just allow her to get used to you, in a non threatening way.
If she sometimes says nothing, then
don't rush to fill that void with words.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Oh, I see. I don't know if she likes me, I cannot tell if a female likes me or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): try talking to her when she's alone and also leave he compliments for later, don't compliment a girl you hardly know or just met, (you'll seem wierd)
does she like you back? does she show the signs? theres no info of if you think she likes you back or anything so i cant help much mate
but if you think she likes you back i suggest going for it like when shes walking home from school etc,
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