A
male
,
anonymous
writes: ok, here's the deal: i have a gambling problem, but haven't gambled in over a year. my gf and i had alot of fights about it and i decided she was more important to me than my lifestyle. we have since moved in together in her home town (which is several states away from my family), and she's developed quite the drinking habit. several months ago, i talked to her about it and told her i didn't want that in my life (my parents are alcoholics and i don't want to raise a family in that environment). we had several arguements about it, and i thought she had it under control, but i've recently found several empty liquor bottles hidden in little used cupboards. i love her, but i miss my family and i don't know if we have a future anymore. i've got no other reasons to stay here, and i'm missing my family badly. i don't even know what to do anymore.....signedfound the hidden bottles
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2005): You are in a love relationship and considering possibly a marriage and children, with an alcoholic. Added to that you have had a painful past of alcoholism in your own family...you know only too well how a problem like this will encompass your life, her life and the lives of your future children. The blunt truth is that she is an alcoholic and you should be running in the opposite direction. Do you really want to deal with all the problems that occur in a marriage to an alcoholic? It’s not anything I’d volunteer to do. And what about future children? Remember, you had a front row seat to that type of family dysfunction as a child. Get some perspective here. Either get her immediately, into alcoholics anonymous and counselling or leave and go home...and make a healthy, happier life for yourself. As people, we sometimes lose our boundaries in love relationships and our frustrated feelings get out of control. This is the time we cling to our beliefs and committments to ourselves and make better choices with our lives. Base your life on common sense and the best possible choices. Good luck, dear.
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