A
female
age
36-40,
*cebrighteyes
writes:Here's the situation, I have a cousin who has a child with her now exhusband, they're back together and living in the same house...Anyway, we're all about the same age and my cousin is not a very close cousin of mine. Her ex husband is definitely a flirtacious man. And not bad looking either. My major deal is that I just became recently single and I'm tryin not to heed his subtle advances, but I feel that she's picking up on them too because she makes catty remarks whenever we're at a mutual family member's house. It seems like we're always finding ourselves alone at one time or another, outside on the porch or inside in the kitchen, and the pull between us is magnetic and I know that just one touch, even if we were just joking around, could spark things off and i REALLY don't want that because I'm just as lustful (no other way to describe it) as him. I've been trying to advoid the entire situation, but I need help because it seems like we're always at one mutual family member's house or another and you can cut the tension between us with a knife. I'm confused because my cousin and her ex have made a point on several different occasions in the past few weeks to say that they are not a couple...but I still feel like it's a line i shouldnt cross. Can I just pull him aside and say "hey, we both know this would be wrong, so just drop it?" I don't wanna do something like that because he might fear someone overheard it and then try to say im coming onto him, which ive never done...help lol
View related questions:
cousin, flirt, her ex, spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, icebrighteyes +, writes (9 June 2010):
icebrighteyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, an update to this situation is that it's not been very successful...one is that they are definitely not getting along very well, and he's approached me (i was also standin beside another person so we weren't alone when he said this) but she wasn't in the room and talked about how he just didn't know about things anymore because after so long with no better results, whats the point.
Now, I've been here before and I know that this was a smart move for him because he was putting out there that he isnt happy anymore (riiiiight lol we all know better otherwise he would have left her) but also he was smart because he didn't approach me by myself, he did as a group conversation so that it couldnt seem flirtacious or as an invitation. Its very hard to be around both of them right now honestly because they argue, or, tsk tsk at each other and i hate for anyone to air their dirty laundry because we all have it...
at the same time, i do find him attractive and we have a very catty relationship...we are constantly naggin one another or "joshin" as some say each other, very sarcastic comments...but its really hard to not say something back when he pops his comments off...i try hard not to because this is also a form of flirting...and im aware that she's picked up on it.
I'm just in a very vulnerable place right now, which he's aware of because of my recent reasoning for being single and if he wasn't who he is to the family, i would have already acted upon his advances...im just trying to do the right thing. any comments on how to not fire back sarcastically to our little tug of war comments/flirting?
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (3 June 2010):
 Sounds to me like you're a pretty smart girl. I'm pleased to see that, honestly.
If I were you, I'd just keep playing smart and all calm, cool, collected like, as you are now. Since this could involve other family members and potentially getting in between ex's who may not have things all sorted out, you risk ending up with even more thick atmosphere wherein you'll need a chainsaw to cut through it, needless drama, the whole shootin' match could backfire on you.
Perhaps just try avoiding him as much as politely possible when you're at mutual family gatherings. It'll prevent further cattiness from your cousin, and give Mr. Flirt the right idea that it's no systems go with you.
Don't say anything to him on this for now. Not unless you're absolutely forced into firing a strong warning shot across the bow.
Stay smart like you're doing now and let this blow over.
...............................
|
