A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have very basic question.how do i get a boyfriend how do i get a guy to fancy me.even though i am fat,short,plain looking,30+ age and feel over the hill and no guy be interested in me because older and no longer in my 20s .who shy and find it hard to talk to guys because i have low self esteem and i was bulled a lot when i was younger,i live in the country side its impossible to meets guys, because the guy i like always have a girlfriend or not interested.i have no friends its very hard to make them every one is so busy.one guy face book has 200 friends.and i have none,
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self esteem, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): how are you babygal11 i can,t move to city because i live on a farm and i have no money.i find people in city don,t understand country people.they think we are thick becasue we are from the country .i am trying to lose weight at the minute.i find out that i look ols in every thing i feel being 30+ that i am and some is 27 ,28,29.guya think that i am .am i old?
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (3 May 2009):
What more advice do you need.
Do you have any intention of taking the advice you have already been given?
Why can't you move house if you are miserable where you are?
What is keeping you there?
Reeta is right. It's only you who is holding yourself back.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (3 May 2009):
 I have an idea: there must be lots of girls in Ireland in your situation, you should write an article for our articles page make friends with the other girls who have posted this question in the same situation as you.
Then you can start a lonely girls in Ireland group on facebook and before long you will have hundreds of friends.
You are not alone we all have periods of isolation, but some of us do something about it! Please don't think I have never been alone or lonely, I'm just proactive, and solve this issue.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): can i have more advice .i am really lonely and in a situation.and no i am happy being old and miserable like mr medic said who does n,t have clue whats its like to live in isolation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): mr army medic there is more then one girl in Ireland who has posted on this website.so yes i will correct you
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (3 May 2009):
Please correct me if I'm wrong but you have posted this or very similar at least five times previously and had some really great answers.
Maybe your real issue is you are actually happy being miserable, and don't want our advice?
I think Emily has summed up everything that has been said to you previously.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 May 2009):
Ok, so your problems are:
1. Geography
2. Self Esteem
3. Looks
4. You are using the internet
Age is not an issue as (shockingly) some men are over 30 too.
Unless you are willing to move house then you can't do much about geography but you must have a local town that you can get to within half an hour.
Self esteem is something that you just have to deal with. Yes you were bullied. Lots of people were. So you can either let something that happened at SCHOOL, years and years ago bother you. Or you can accept that this was years ago and you are a different person now. You can chose to sit at home and blame things for "making" this happen or you can leave the house and have fun.
Looks. I very much doubt you are so hideous that no one would have you. I can believe that you possibly don't make the most of yourself. Get a new hair cut, get a nice top and skirt that hides any wobbly bits and makes the most of what you do have.
Internet. Using the internet, in my opinion is NEVER a good way to make friends and meet people. Facebook means nothing. Just because some guy added 700 people and 200 of them accepted does not make him popular... it's just makes him sad.
Get out of the house and join some clubs and groups and volunteer somewhere. Meet some REAL people in the REAL world. You will make some friends which is the most important thing, and you might meet a man.
But once you have friends and can go out with them then you can meet more people, get your confidence up and a boyfriend will come soon after.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Reeta  +, writes (3 May 2009):
You've got to change your own attitude before you can change everybody else's attitude towards you. By this I mean that you've got to do whatever makes you feel more confident: new clothes, new haircut, start exercising if you don't feel ok with your body... This usually works like wonders if you want to make a "fresh start" with your social life and love life.
Even if people in your town seem to be busy all the time, go out, have a drink, go for a walk, join a group of whatever you like.. you'll end up having new friends, and maybe even a boyfriend!:) The secret is not to stay at your place waiting for it all to happen, you have to make it happen! forget about the bullying when you were younger, don't let that shape your future life and relationships.
Cheer up and be certain that if you want, you can!
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