A
male
age
36-40,
*oooldforthis
writes:So I basically just need to tell someone this story and get some potential advice on what I should do.This is kind of a follow up to an existing post I have here:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-the-hell-happened-we-went-from-being.htmlSo, since that time, I basically did what I shouldn't have and sent her a text (didn't expect a response) around memorial day of this year just saying WTF(name). Her response was just "haha indeed"... which was weird, so I then texted her the next day, where we basically caught up a bit, I called her out on falling off the face of the earth and said that was pretty messed up.Her response was verbatium: "I know, I'm an asshole and you're really awesome deserve much better." We just kind of chatted on and off since then but eventually set up a time to meet up this summer. That was July of this year.Since July we had been dating pretty seriously, hanging out every other day or so, having sex, just staying at each other's places, going to lunches, movies, dinners etc. It was awesome and we basically just picked up where we had left off. One of the best summers I've ever had to be honest.However, around mid October, things then sort of took a turn again, where she became more and more distant, stopped finding times to hang out, and had a lot of drama surrounding her life. She lost her wallet again, one of her close friends moved away, had crazy drama at work, depressed, dealing with her jerk father, etc. I asked her what was up, told her I wanted to support her in any way that I could, but she said that she just did not want to date anyone any more and that she's in a difficultmental spot that only she can deal with. She said that is basically how she deals with her issues and what happened when she sort of fell off the face of the earth back in February and why she became so recluse. I basically told her (in so many words) that dealing with things like that is most likely not the most healthy approach and that she should seek help in one way or another -- whether that's having a friend support group or speaking with a professional counselor.I was more okay with taking a "break" at the time since she kind of wasn't giving me the respect I felt she deserved, and basically bought into the "I'm going through some issues and do not want to date" story.However, she and I are friends on FB, and although it's a really juvenile way to look into her life and keep up with her, she posts stuff that's really conflicting to her story and she seems like she's not only fine with this situation, but happy about it.This one in particular from today really hurt... "I spend more time in pursuit of the best sandwich than the best life partner. #singleforareason"Ugh. I could post others, but that one really turned my heart to stone. I might call her out on some of this stuff, and I've got some really mixed emotions on it, but a part of me wants to give it YET AGAIN another shot with her, as I've never liked someone as much as her (she knows that) and find it a little hurtful the way she's been kind of rude about it. I've dated other girls besides her, but for whatever weird reason I like her the most.I'm not sure if she ever even mentioned me to anyone. I never met any of her friends or family (although I knew their backstories and names, and everything about them) she never met mine... essentially, she just basically sucks but to be quite honest she's the closest thing I had to a real girlfriend which is why I guess I'm so into her. Any help or advice would be very much so appreciated.
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male
reader, toooldforthis +, writes (2 November 2012):
toooldforthis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI might be a little misleading though, I mean I really do like her A LOT. Much more than anyone else I've dated. I seriously think I'm in love with her which is why this one is tough. Thanks for the reply though.
A
female
reader, psychic fiona +, writes (1 November 2012):
 okay so she joked around a little bit but is that really your promblem, not really you didnt like at get go, so just save your self a headake and her to both need to move on and let this go and stop dwelling on it . it happens to the best of us you know in your mind that its not gonna work so time to move on and find someone who you really want to be with,
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A
male
reader, toooldforthis +, writes (30 October 2012):
toooldforthis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply. I know it sounds immature, and I guess I was reluctant for her given her odd history... but I think the thing that annoys me the most is how inconsiderate she is / has become. I actually confronted her about the FB post... she says she was completely joking and didn't mean to offend, but I don't know how she couldn't have even thought about posting something like that without hurting my feelings. I don't think it can work out between us but I really do care for her a lot, so even trying to be her friend is hard. Thanks again.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (29 October 2012):
 Give yourself a time limit and next time she falls off the face of the earth again you don't pick her up. You could be waiting your whole life before she can commit to you. She doesn't even deny that she is an asshole. When you do decide to move on from her you will find likable qualities in other girls.
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