A
female
age
36-40,
*elfina
writes: My fiance has a female friend who's been living in another country for a few years. He used to take care of her cat when she'd go on vacations and such (before we met). Now this same girl is coming back to our country, the US, and is wanting to go out to lunch or dinner with him. I know they're friends..but I feel completely jealous and upset. Should I be? Am I wrong? Or am I just paranoid and possessive? Thanks for your advice..
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female
reader, Melfina +, writes (20 March 2010):
Melfina is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I agree with you guys.. I mean I know they're just friends. I have no kind of evidence that points otherwise. So I told him I'd be fine and that he should go out to eat. Well he's out to eat right now, and I'm less than fine... it's been 2 hours and i feel really jealous, upset and angry. It's making me want to take out one of my guy friends because I know how much it would bother him. I don't want to feel like this but I do. I guess we wait and see..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): As long as you are allowed male friends too. And your partner also takes you out for meals and you trust each other, then there shouldnt be a problem. So dont worry x
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (18 March 2010):
It's natural to be a little bit jealous and upset but don't let it overcome you and turn you into a possessive girlfriend...that's not attractive.
If I was you I'd totally let him go and catch up with her, he should be able to have female friends. Do you have any evidence that they could be more than friends? Anything you've seen or heard?
If not, you need to give him his freedom and you need to trust him. I think that you should give your partner freedom and trust and if they decide to abuse that, then that's too bad for them isn't it?
How much do you know about her? I know all my BF's female friends and I couldn't care less if he catches up with them for lunch or whatever. I trust him and he appreciates this. Many of his friends are on 'tight leashes' and it's so unnattractive.
But bottom line is, do you have a real and valid reason for feeling upset? If not, let him go and meet her...and take it as it comes after that.
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