A  ,
*elsi
writes:I have a friend who is 57 yrs. old. She told me she is not in love with her husband and really only got married to get away from her step-dad. She now has been married for 37 years. They have two grown but needy boys. She told me she is sad all the time, that nothing makes her happy anymore and that little things use to make her happy. So she went to see a doctor and the doctor gave her some happy pills. She hasn't started to take them yet but is considering it. My question is, if she takes the pills will that help her be happy in her marriage or can it also help make her see that this might not be a relationship that she wants to continue with her husband? Could it cause her to step up to the plate and make a decision that could changer her life? Can the pills actually help her see or feel that she needs to take care of herself and her life first?Thank youKelsi
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): I'm not a doctor but I've never in my life heard of a pill that can fix relationships otherwise we'd all be medicating.
The answer is no, all the pills will do is make her feel a little less shit about how bad her life is but they'll only be a mask, they won't be a solution and she will wither become dependent on them to keep her going through this or she'll grow a tolerance to them.
What is with Americans and their doctors giving out pills for everything? I mean I have a few friends living there and they get offered that crap all the time as the solution to everything. One of those friend recently broke up with her boyfriend and was feeling down. Which is normal. So she went to her doctor to ask if for advice on sleeping better and coping with her grief. He brushed it off by offering her anti-depressants and sleeping tablets, she thought he was joking but he wasn't.
Another friend was feeling homesick for a couple of weeks and finding it hard to study, again she was prescribed mood enhancers to get over it.
Quite strange really, because here in Ireland the medical profession has guidelines to only offer drugs as a last resort, whereas in America they seem to be the solution to all life's problems. I mean apparently pain medication is so popular over there that you have your own separate pain clinics, basically stores that deal only in pain medication. That's weird.
No OP those pills won't change anything, now I'm not one to refute the advice of her own doctor nor can I say that the medication isn't what she needs. But if it is what I think it is, if it's anti-depressants or mood stabilizers then they're more likely to keep her in that situation than to change it.
A
female
reader, TEM +, writes (18 May 2011):
 When someone is sad all the time, and can derive no pleasure from even those things that use to bring them joy, the person is usually depressed. Your friend was wise to see a doctor. I am sure the doctor evaluated her, diagnosed her, and prescribed something that would help lift her mood.
I wouldn't expect too much of the medication, or such specific results from it, however. If it works for her she will be able to sleep and eat a little better. She may begin to have a more positive outlook on life. The medication takes time to work, and it doesn't automatically give one insight.
When people are depressed their first inclination is to attribute it to something - "Oh, I am depressed because I have a bad relationship, job, financial situation," etc., etc. That is the normal thing to do. It's very hard to be objective. When the medication takes hold many people find they weren't sad because of "this or that" but rather it was just because they had a mood disorder that was cleared up with medication.
However, I have heard of women that gained the strength they needed to leave unhappy marriages once their depression lifted. There are actually medical reports written to that effect. Sometimes when a person is depressed they lack the motivation to change their circumstances. They just don't have the energy for it. Getting through the day is about all they can handle. Once they feel better, they may make changes, if that is what needs to be done.
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