A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i had been going out with this girl for two months who i really loved and she also appeared to love me. everything was going fine throughout those two months, we would talk every night for hours. she lived around 30 minutes from me and would come to see me lot of the time and she is also going to move to the town where i live in florida, which made the relationship easier to withstand even due to the distance issue. but all of a sudden she started acting weird, she would hang up really early with me, sometimes 10 minutes into a conversation and say she was going to sleep, and she didnt do that before. also she didnt want to tell her parents about me for some reason and then one day she told me she just wanted to be friends because of stress and family stuff, but that when she moved to where i lived we might be able to resume our relationship. i asked her if she was with anybody else and she said no, she told me she just wanted time alone. she called me a couple of times a week after we broke up but then she stopped, and again she said she wanted time alone. could there be another guy? is there a chance to get her back? what should i do? i have been with many women but this has never happened before.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): Yeah people have breaks to clear their heads. Thats probably what shes doing now...
If she does seem like shes thinking forever though, she might start messing you around. Just to warn you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe did in fact exchange the words "i love you" and planned about future things, when she moved down here and so on, and i spoke to her a couple of weeks ago and she said she isn't seeing anybody, she just wants some space to sort out all of her pressures, and again when she comes down to orlando we might resume our relationship. and i haven't spoken to her since and it has been two months since we broke up,and about two weeks since we spoke because i suddenly cut all communication and attempts to get back with her to give her the space she needs but can some take that much time and not be with anybody else? can she really be taking time to sort things out?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): Regardless of whether there is another guy or not, you are seperated. Sure it wouldn't be nice on you if there was, but she wasn't technically cheating and therefore honest.
You can't assume these things. You can't assume what has happened, whats going through her head and why your not together. Sometimes relationships just don't work out. Sometimes you just have to stop searching for an answer to everything and just accept things.
If you want to wait and see what happens when she moves down, by all means do. See if the relationship works out. Its unlikely there is a guy if she said that - most girls wouldn't leave you in suspense...
Just don't be messed around, and if you have to, wait until shes moved to talk to her. Don't make her feel pressurized or clingy. Just have a break, wait then talk to her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): It sounds like there definitely could be another guy. My personal opinoin is that there is another guy and that's why she all of a sudden has withdrawn.
What you should do and how you should handle this situation really depends on how deep into the relationship you both were in it. For example, if it was pretty casual, like you guys weren't bf/gf just yet, and you guys hadn't exchanged words of "love" or anything, and were still at the very beginnings of getting to know each other, then I personally would just leave it alone, I wouldn't ask any questions and I would just DEFINITELY move on and never look back.
But if you both were serious about each other, as in you both knew you loved each other, had talked about your future together, were officially bf/gf, and basically were officially an item and a couple, then, in that case, I would want an explanation. If that's the case, I think you deserve an explanation. I would call her up and say, "hey, what's going on? I feel like you owe me an explanation." Something like that.
In any case, yeah it does sounds like she met someone else. But like I said, the way you should handle it really depends on the seriousness of this relationship. In one case, I would want an explanation. In the other case, I wouldn't. And in both cases, I would move on, as I would have too much pride to settle for someone who would leave me like that.
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female
reader, ClaireAndJamieXX  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 Sounds like shes going through a rough time. All you can really do is be patient understanding and caring towards her. From what you have told us i see no signs of another guy. She will probably get back with you once things are sorted out. As for not telling her parents? It could be possible that she isnt allowed to date and she is worried that going out with you when she moves closer to you word will get around to them. Give her time or move on xx
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