A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Of late my wife seems to have lost interest in sex and in me in general - sorta nonchalant, and indifferent.We've had relationship issues these past years, but I'm beginning to suspect if she's approaching menopause. It's been on my mind for sometime, but sex until recently was great. However these past couple of months, she's been indifferent, and recently I found that she's dry even after a lot of foreplay. Usually, it didn't take much effort to get her wet and going, but this seems new.For the ladies and the gents here, do you think my hunch is correct, or are these deeper emotional/relationship issues that I know for a fact exist and need to keep working on them. We're both in our late 40s.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks folks for your honest, and sometimes brutal responses. While I'm not perturbed by the frankness of some of the responses, I do want to emphasize that there are many couples going through such issues, and oftentimes we ignore the physiological changes going thru and focus only on the psychological/touchy feely side of things. The latter, as most men will acknowledge, is not very easy for men, who are used to solving problems, and less about empathy and listening and talking it over. But realize also that in as much as the empathetic talking/listening is a skill-set us guys need to practice, women need to know that there are physiological changes they need to monitor, and try to fix medically, and that in return will help solve the issues relationships have - rather than merely blaming the guy for not listenting, not talking, etc.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (18 December 2010):
 I am willing to bet this is the start of menopause. As women approach their late 40's / early 50's their bodies begin a substantial change. From the sounds of it, loss of sex drive and being dry down there is the beginnings.
She should probably pay a visit to her OB/GN for a check-up. You may want to try some lubrication aides as well.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (17 December 2010):
 While I'm not saying I don't agree with OliviaAna's advice, I'm going to be a little more open to the fact that it sounds like the OP knows his wife pretty well. He's saying this is a sudden change in behavior and is wondering if this is a common thing for those who may experienced it before.
The problem is I don't have an exact answer for you. Yes, it's possible it could be a hormonal issue. It could be the beginning of menopause. However, it could be something more mental such as work or home life. Has anything major happened recently? Family member dying? Child going away to college? Anything along those lines?
I do agree with OliviaAna that talking is the best way to proceed. Don't do it in a hostile way or a way that may seem aggressive like saying "you're not as horny anymore, etc". Say things like "I feel like I'm not turning you on like I used to, etc" and as if there's anything you need to do to help make things more exciting for her.
If she honestly doesn't know what's up then a trip to the doctors may be in order just to check her levels.
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A
female
reader, OliviaAna +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Gee whizz...have you tried a little tenderness?? How about TALKING....I mean really talking to her about her feelings and what may be wrong? You shouldn't even have to ask such a question on a forum if you really paid her the attention she needs. What about a nice candle lit dinner and a rose?
How about telling her you appreciate everything she does for your family? How about a nice bracelet or token of love? Mostly, just hug her and whisper that you love her and that you understand.
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