A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really need help I am going mad with all this!!I have been seeing this girl on and off for 3 years now when we both started seeing each other we were involved at first it was just whenever we were out together like one a month or so, after about 2 years we started to pick things up a bit wanting more and more so I ended my relationship with my partner I couldnt take the guilt this was over a year ago. She never and at a first I never asked her to though her bf did find out we stopped talking for about 6 weeks when she decided to contact me again after a while we started seeing each other again (I know this is wrong) he found out again and again we stopped talking for around 6 weeks after this she contacted me again but this time i said no I wont hurt anyone anymore you are with him so don't come near me well. . .after a few weeks of pleading with me I told her if she ends it with him then we can give it go so about a week later she done just that and we started going out for about 7 weeks was a great seven weeks apart from I had an issue with being kept a secret still felt like we were still doing wrong so was starting to cause us problems I felt like as soon as things got bad she would just run back to him and he would not have a clue. . . and guess what she did (what is it with the 6-7 weeks thing) anyway the a few days after she did this she was on the phone breaking her heart saying she couldn't give me what I wanted always saying it wasn't just about him it is her family too as her BF is like family to them which is true I got this from her sister first hand on the phone one night as she was the only person who knew about us. The thing I need help with is she claims she rn back to him scared of being on her own and realised straight away she made a mistake she has no intrest in him anymore she avoids seeing him or sleeping with him I don't know though and this drives me insane!! She says she cant get me out her head she loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me but she cant go against her family again it would cause so much trouble her mum and his mum are best friends! her mum will not accept me because of whats already happend! She wants me to give her till after the new year and wants me to stay faithfull to her which isn't a problem to me but I wont tell her that I love this girl and I want what she wants but I cant do what she is asking its not fair I know she is with sum1 else and it drives me crazy I want to get over her I do think she was my one but I am not hers. So in all the problem for me is she wont let me go or say she dont love or want me she persists that its me she wants it just not as eesy as I think for her to it and spoil everyones xmas meanwhile she has mine and di last year. I dont want to go into a new year like the last one. Someone tell me is she playing games shes not a nasty or calculated person she hasnt ever been nasty of horrilble to me and always says she loves but this is a pure headF**k for me and I fuind it really hard to walk away how do Deal with this??
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female
reader, lLady Soldier  +, writes (31 December 2009):
 Ok let's go!
You have to sincerely let her go because of the fact that the more this goes on, the more hurt you both will have. I'll tell you that if she's the "one" you will be together, but now is not the right time. Move on and start your NEW year fresh! There are so many new things and new people that you can meet and do. Do NOT hold your future down with waiting, if it is meant to be it will be. You have to let her go and at some point, if you mean to her as much as she says you mean she will make the decision in being with you. Besides, no matter how much family doesn't agree or which ever it may be, it will officially be her heart to make the final decision, and if she truly cares for you she will forget about what her family thinks because there is nothing worse than the feeling of emptiness. Therefore, go about your business, try new things, explore new adventures and see what life has in store for you! You never know what can happen... just look at it as a new opportunity for you and something like a vacation. Enjoy life a little bit!
Have a happy NEW year and I hope I helped (=
Let me know what happens!
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