A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I were to together for five years.When we first met we were both virgins but throughout are relationship it was always in the back of my head thinking about.What if he hadn't been a virgin? He said he was but he knew so much about it.I asked if it hurt him and he said no but I asked isn't it supposed to hurt you and he said because he masturbated a lot that can that make a man lose some sensitivity
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 April 2013):
 my boyfriend and I WERE together for 5 years?
so this worry is about an EX boyfriend?
umm yeah he could very well have been a virgin since neither of you seemed to understand that sex does not hurt the first time for a guy like it MAY for a girl.
and honestly, what if he had not have been? now what? he's a ex right? so what do you need to do about it? NOTHING
what else is going on that this is an issue?
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 April 2013):
 There has absolutely GOT to be something more important than this for you to expend your mental energy on.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 April 2013):
 I agree with Cerberus. It wasn't that he had WASTE knowledge, it was that you had NONE.
I don't see WHY he would lie about it. Women (not all, don't get me wrong) lie about it, because men still thinks a woman being a virgin is somehow better.
I have never heard that it hurt a dude to penetrate a girl his first time. And most guys have masturbated before their first time - WAY before their first time.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 April 2013):
I don't mean to sound rude here, but the fact that you base part of your opinion on him not hurting when you first had sex shows your lack of knowledge on the subject. So for you, I'm sure he does seem experienced, but the majority of his experience is likely from porn.
I don't see any reason here to doubt him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2013): "but he knew so much about it." In this day and age, information is everywhere. My first and only boyfriend had the same suspicion, even said the same thing "how can it be your first time if you know so much". Simple. I read, listen, talk to friends etc. And as the other posters say, it rarely ever hurts for a guy the first time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2013): Just because a person seems to instinctively "knows" about what to do during making love does not mean that they are not a virgin the first time they have sex.
I was a bonafide 100% in every way virgin when my then boyfriend first had sex with me when I was 19. No Nun could be more virginal than I was.
I had very strict parents. An all girls school. I was a good student and boys were not on my radar until I left to attend University. I was so naive that I did not even understand what the equipment looked like (no brothers).
And I certainly had never watched porn. I had seen a side view cross section drawing in a text book. My mother was so strict I was not even given the Birds and Bees Talk.
My then boyfriend recognized my ignorance and proceeded to slowly teach me date by date. A new lesson each week. i loved it. BUT I must have been a quick learner as when we finally went all the way 6 months later he was so shocked at how much I enjoyed it and how I putall the lessons together that he hurt me deeply by questioning if I had really been a virgin at the start of our relationship.
My goodness he nearly lost me forever that night. Suffice to say i still feel very positive about sex. I was actually glad that he was not a virgin. He was 21 at the time. He taught me very well.
So never imagine that you can accuse someone of that. You may just have found a person who is a naturally good lover.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (25 April 2013):
Porn can teach a lot and it doesn't hurt MOST guys for their first time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2013): OP it's not that he knew a lot it's that you knew nothing.
It's not supposed to hurt us guys especially guys who don't have a foreskin.
The only time I've been hurt is when the woman had a particularly tight vagina and wasn't lubed enough and that can happen any time. I've even hurt myself drunkenly having sex with my current partner and we've had sex thousands of times.
I'd trust that he was OP and I'd also do a bit of sexual research if I were you. Even he was naive enough to believe this "it's supposed to hurt the guy" bullshit.
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