A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a little worried about this. So, i used to be quite large, about 84 pounds overweight and lost most of my weight the last few years. I'm thin but not as toned and obviously have a little loose skin on my stomach in particular, especially the lower half. What they class as a mothers apron, usually ladies have it after having a baby. Ive been with a few guys and a couple of them have lost their erection when having sex, either during or before. This is with lights on. I am incredibly self conscious as it is but the worst time was with my now ex boyfriend. He wanted me to lie on my front so we could have sex and before it, after seeing me completely naked, he lost his erection. He ended up saying that wasn't the reason but dumped me shortly after. I am working on toning and losing the last 14 or so pounds but this honestly freaks me out. I thought i would only have to worry about my body when i was bigger, not when most of my weight has gone. I'm not covered in loose skin or anything, just a bit wobbly as i let the workouts seriously slip the last year or so, so i know i can fix my body to a fair degree. I just wondered, do men need women to be really toned? Is this an issue for a lot of men? I know most men don't like fatter women but what if you've got wobbly bits or loose skin from weight loss? What then? I'll never be completely toned unless i was to have some surgery on my stomach so this really worries me, i am now refusing to date until i sort my body out
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2018): I do t understand what the previous male aunt meant when he said if you'd feel better working it off then dating again go for it
You can't work off excess skin . This is a well known fact by any woman who's ever had a tummy tuck and consulted a dermatologist . Skin has elastic fibre in it Valero elastin . Once stretched to a certain degree, no amount of creams or excercise will restore it
As for men having different things that turn them off . Yes it's absolutely essential to weed out the shallow ones
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2018): There's nothing that can be done for loose skin short of surgery . Muscle can be toned skin can't . I actually experienced similar and had some surgery rafter consulting professionals but I realise that's not possible for everyone . I only had my tummy done but still have loose skin in other areas
I'll tell you something interesting , even though I no longer have loose skin on my tummy . I wouldn't do that operation again. It made me incredibly sick and the recovery was tough . After many years I've come to realise that if a man is so shallow that my stomach skin makes such an big difffermce to him then I DONT WANT HIM !
That's the huge realisation I made . See I was spending way to much time worrying about what men wanted and not nearly enough time thinking about what I deserved and to be honest it sounds like you may be doing the same
Why sleep with any man if you don't have some level of certainly that he wants way more than a female body to have sex with
In other words , hold back for the right guy . Don't be so free to open yourself up to this hurt and make sure any guy you show your body too is worthy of such trust . Develop a relationship prior to sex that is such that you can Talk first about your insecurities and make sure you feel he is the sort of man who cares more about you as a whole person rather than what skin you do or do not have on your body
Well done on your amazing weight loss . Your obviously an incredible woman . Unfortunately many of us who have been overweight a long time forget just how incredible me they are . Value yourself and you will attract those who value you too
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A
male
reader, Roboaxe  +, writes (30 January 2018):
 Different things turn different men on or off.
The most important thing is that you need to feel confident in your own body.
If you would feel better working it off then starting to date again, go for it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2018): Hi there, I am sorry that you are going through that. I don’t have any idea. But , I would like if you could share how you lost weight?
I am trying to lose weight as well but so far not any success.
Thanks
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2018): Hi there, I am sorry that you are going through that. I don’t have any idea. But , I would like if you could share how you lost weight?
I am trying to lose weight as well but so far not any success.
Thanks
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