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female
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anonymous
writes: hi there,I broke up with my ex over 10 months ago, as I wasn't ready, and to be honest i wasn't really happy in myself. My ex was mad about me, really chased me and the relationship went on for over a year yet, it wasn't really right for me, I wasn't really into it at all, he wanted much more..yet I loved being with him, and we became very emotionally involved, and had an amazing sex life. When we broke up we remained friends, well to a certain degree, until he met someone new. It really affected me, I was soo hurt, and I decided not to contact him any more, because I couldn't bare to think about him with her. I said none of this to him, as I knew it would'nt have been fair on him...as he seemed to really like this girl.I since went out with another guy for a short time, (and just recently broke up) and so did my ex. We are now both single, and I can't help wondering about us again. My ex and I have been in contact since we are both now single, as friends, and i'm planning to meet him for a game of tennis. however, I still feel a bit apprehensive. I know I hurt him initially as I didn't give to the relationship as much as him, but then he met someone else very quick after me, and I was really hurt about that.I know he was right to move on, but I couldn't understand how it affected me, and for him to literally proclaim his love for me and a month later be practically swept off his feet. He claims now that we can be friends and talk about our new interests, but I know if I heard he had met somone new I would'nt like it at all. He never ever appeared to show any jealousy when I mentioned guys, whereas I was honest and told him that I was jealous when he met the new girl. Sometimes I wonder about us again, as I'm reaady for a nice relationship, but am I foolish to think that we would work again? AM I mad about this guy but just won't admit it to myself?Can you really be true friends with your ex?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, luckyduck +, writes (15 January 2006):
hi,
well to be honest it is kind of hard to be good friends with an ex, you really had feelings for eachother at the time and shared intimate moments together, so you have a past. going from that to a hello how are you relationship is hard, you still have feelings for him and you want more. dont be to hard on yourself for being upset about him meeting a new woman, thats normal, you loved him and it just didnt work out, thats kind of hard to accpet at first. he may have gone out with the other woman so fast after you and him broke up to try to forget about past pains you and him went through. men dont show their feelings as well as women do they tend to be reserved so they dont look babyish, or what doesnt kill you makes your stronger logic, you arent foolish for wanting to try having a relationship again you still have feelings for him, and with him accepting to be friends again is a good sign, you may have a second chance in the works, but take things slowly, what happens is in the future. and thats what the future is for, finding things out.
Good luck!!
A
female
reader, Angelface +, writes (15 January 2006):
Yes you can if it feels right for you. I finished with my ex of 2 yrears over 6 months ago. I am with someone new but we are still friends. When you finish with someone you love its better to be friends than to erase them from your life. You may live to regret it x x x
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A
female
reader, hello05 +, writes (15 January 2006):
Before you decide to talk to this guy about giving another shot at the long lost love life you once had but did not want, you need to look deep into yourself for some answers. If you are the type of woman who is only after the chase, will you truly be happy with a man that is willing to give you all he has? And are you willing to give the same back to him? A relationship is hard work, and if you want something long-lasting and filled with love you need to love yourself first. If something lacks in a relationship it makes both of you miserable and it either ruins the relationship or it creates a need to search elsewhere. Tell this man how you felt after you broke up and he moved on. An open relationship full of commnication is lovely!
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