A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Today my partner figured something was up with me and we talked for about an hour. I told him I felt we weren't communicating and I wasn't feeling the relationship. He told me hes been trying hard to organize for us to go to the movies etc lately, which to be fair he has, but then spun it back to me about how if I think there's a problem, I need to make a bigger effort (for us to spend more time together). I spoke to him about how I don't feel connected, and that when I try and talk to him about big issues (e.g. my parents divorce) he says little back and easy come phrases like 'that sucks'. I feel like he didn't comprehend that going out together doesn't equal closeness and understanding. I now feel stuck, because I've raised my issues but I feel like its just been dropped back onto me, which doesn't seem uncommon, and I don't know what to do to fix this on my end. I also tried to bring up how I felt uncomfortable raising issues, but it got brushed over and I'm not sure how to bring it up without inciting anger in him. I know I was raised in a much closer, smaller family than his and I do seek more closeness and communication between people I'm close too, but I don't think I'm being over the top in asking for more than 'that sucks'. I feel comments like that are reserved for situations where I'm like, I got stuck in the rain or I missed my bus. He doesn't understand this, and claims he thinks he's listening and being appropriate back. Is there anything I can do about this or am i on a lost cause with this relationship?(Thanks for sticking with it, I know this is long)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2015): Let him read what you've said here, you've been anonymous to the internet with your true feelings now let him decide. I struggle with the same issues in my relationship. Things will always get tough, but you have to communicate and support to get through it.
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