A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I really want to have a friend for the new year but no one seems to be looking my way if they are I can't tell.I have been single for many years about 13 and now I want companionship.I just turned 43 yesterday I feel and look young I still have my youth look my pass life didn't effect anything about me.I have been in relationships that weren't healthy could it be men can see hurt in my body language I don't know how and why I am still single.:'( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 October 2014):
 Just by going by your post, I would have guessed you were 63 not 43.
You are younger than me by 2 years, so you are not some old lady! My advice listen to FA. GET out there and SOCIALIZE - have hobbies, join a gym, hike group. Focus on socializing first. THEN dating.
Considering going out and getting a new haircut and let all the worries about how others MIGHT see you, fall off with the hair.
If you for 13 years have been doing the same thing and you are still alone... whatever you're doing IS NOT working.
If you won’t go outside your comfort zone, it is pretty sure you that nothing’s going to change.
Why not try online dating?
However, IF you still carry around fear and hurt I would SUGGEST you find a good therapist and DEAL with those issues BEFORE dating.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (15 October 2014):
 I suppose anything is possible but I wouldn't be able to recognize "hurt" in body language unless there were tears involved. You may just be too hesitant and timid in your demeanor? try confidence and raised head assurance.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (15 October 2014):
 I'm sorry you have celebrated a birthday in such a sad way. Without knowing you much better than we possibly can we can't know what it is that is keeping men away from you. It is an incredibly complex interaction and changes with every person.
There is some general advice You have probably seen too often. But just in case another reading sparks something that can help you.
- Be the person you want to find. Be the right kind of person.
- Spend your time in service to others. You are much more likely to find unselfish people in these pursuits.
- Be generous with your smiles, they cost you nothing.
- Learn names and use them. Hearing you name is like music to the ears.
- Present yourself every day as if it is the day you will meet someone. Don't take a day off to be grouchy.
- Smile when you talk on the phone. People can hear your smile.
- Take time for your hobbies. A well rounded person is more attractive.
- Take interest in other peoples interests. An active mind is fun to talk to. Never stop learning.
- Let down your guard a bit. Trust is a risk, and trust is the stuff relationships are made of.
Good Luck, FA
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (15 October 2014):
That could be part of it. The "vibe" you give off is easy to read and can make a huge difference in the way people view you.
Maybe counseling would help? You also may want to try internet dating if you haven't.
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