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Could I subconsciously be harboring some dislike?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 October 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 October 2009)
A male United States age 51-59, *dpet23 writes:

My question id this: I'm 42 and my lover is 45, I like her body very much. I also find her very attractive but I can't have an orgasm with her. She thinks that somehow she is responsible. I've tried to\explain that she is not to blame but no good. Do I need professional help? I maintain an erection but cant reach the point of orgasm,can it be I harbor some dislike subconsciously? She gets my juices going but it just wont spill out-

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A male reader, called Steve United Kingdom +, writes (17 October 2009):

called Steve agony auntYou say your "lover..."

Are you married and this is extra marital... that would explain a few things. Stress and guilt would be my theory in this case.

otherwise - go to your GP... there has to be something else medically wrong.

Steve

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009):

A couple thoughts:

1. Can you ejaculate normally otherwise? If not, it's most likely a medical problem.

2. Is it her actual vagina shape that isn't stimulating you just right? Perhaps a position switch could remedy the situation.

3. Are you tied in any other way to anyone? Suffering from a messy divorce, death of a spouse or other sad event that caused you to bottled some emotions up?

If things are going great, you're in to the sex and then suddenly, as you get closer, something "changes" or "seems off" or you find yourself "suddenly not as turned on" or "distracted", this is one way strong, suppressed emotions come to the surface for men. A little mind-digging should help and don't be afraid to have feelings. Men and women are the same. The idea that men should be tough and show no feelings is the most unintelligent, inhumane and wildly incorrect belief in our society. You're doing the right thing by looking at your feelings first! Good luck!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (16 October 2009):

No, I don't think it's that. Do you feel completely comfortabale with her? Usually a man doesnt' orgasm if he's feeling stressed, or if he's uncomfortable. Think about that. Also, it might be worth just going to the doctor and getting checked out, in case there is something else.

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