A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hiya! Well... I think I have a commitment phobia! But im not exactly aware of it. Like right now i'm thinking if the right guy came along, i'd love to be in a relationship. But the thing is, when any guy comes along and I get to know him and then he starts heavily flirting I just think 'Do I really want to go out with him? Probably not.'Its ridiculous. I've had relationships in the past which have all been fine, and I dont have a problem with kissing/sleeping with guys. I've been in a fuck buddy relationship (I don't reccomend it) so all that is fine, but the thought of actually going out with someone makes me want to back off. But at the same time i'd love to be in a relationship. Confused yet? I am!Maybe I just like the idea but the reality scares me? The only guys i'd feel like I want to go out with are ones I know really well, like some of my closest guy friends. I dont 'fancy' them personally as such, there just what i'd hope to have in a future guy. Do you think the absence of a father figure has caused some sort of trouble? Oh god its not the dreaded 'daddy issues' is it?! Please help, as you can tell im very confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): You didn't say anything about your past relationships--did you back out of them when they started getting too serious? Did they revolve around sex? Since you've had relationships, you should already know a bit about what the "reality" is (although every relationship is different).The main thing in a relationship is not kissing/sleeping with guys. It does sound like you like the idea of a relationship but are not ready to take one on. It may just be that you haven't met a guy who meets all your criteria. It's ok if you find that you don't like lots of guys who come along and like you. I'm sure you have your reasons for not wanting to go out with them--just make sure you know what they are. Don't censor yourself.I don't think absence of a father figure is the problem. Some girls who had unfaithful, unreliable fathers have more of a problem with guys later.
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