A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:dear readers,Since I went to a boarding school I got the idea if I am gay or not. I went to a new country, new language made it hard to make friends. First three weeks were amazing but then I started disliking it it didn't show the expectations that I had. So after 2 weeks carrying problems with me I got the idea that I am maybe gay. It started with thinking:hey this guy looks cool. wait, what? what if i am... i still get erections from seeing females but not always. I actually don't get erected by men but I imagine to be in love with people, guys, but it probably just obsession. I also carry other obsessions with me since then, while I'm struggling with them the being gay problem is away, then it comes back. I have a hard time.Not always, but sometimes i do. I also have to say that my mum wasn't with me all the time she stayed in the old country and I had to be with my father. Now i am back and everything feels strange. One last thing: in my old school it felt strange and tickling even to touch a person like giving him hi five, what made me think I'm gay also. If you have any ideas what I can do please answer thanks allot and sorry for spelling!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi guys thanks its me again i was just confused everything turned ok finally. i like man like a bit but usually they disgussed me lately. and im having crushes on girls since im back to germany. puberty is a hard time for real....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2012): You said you are having sexual feelings towards men and women so that means you are bisexual so no you are not gay youre just having a liking of people of the same gender and opposite gender:)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): Maybe you are just Bi but most likely just lonely (and not gay). I think because of TV and society, it's considered sexual for men to have intimate and close relationships with anyone, let alone a guy. I think that is damaging to men's psychology.
Don't confuse love and friendship, if you are having feelings of wanting to be close to someone, or wanting to be with them, recognize that that doesn't mean you want to have sex with the person. Even homosexuals have really close relationships with people they don't want to have sex with. You may just be confused because you want a similar relationship with a female deep down, but don't realize that yet.
Discovering one's own sexuality is a long and hard process for many people because most people aren't completely straight or completely gay, and the image of what it means to be gay or straight is polluted with stereotypes and images. Maybe your feelings with this guy can change over time, but if you aren't having sexual fantasies of this person or getting an erection regularly from the thought, I'd guess you aren't gay. Maybe curious, but not gay.
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