A
female
age
51-59,
*itch
writes:Hello, I am divorced and in a newer relationship with a nice man. I really like him a lot because he is very attentive. He makes me feel like I am #1 in his life. unlike my ex husband who wouldn't even carry a cell phone, this man will answer his phone no matter where he is when I call him, and if he cannot answer the phone he will text me to let me know he is there for me. He also tells me he will never cheat on me like my ex did. He says he is an honest man and he would not want to see my beautiful smile ruined by something hurtful that he was responsible for. We have been dating for about a year and it is getting much more serious now that I am officially divorced and he knows I am available to have a relationship. He tells me all the time that I am beautiful in his eyes, and he says it is not just my appearance he is talking about but my personality. The problem I have is that my ex husband cheated on me with prostitutes, and I would have never ever known if he didn't tell me himself and I feel like since I was so obviously clueless how would I ever know if anybody else was doing this to me? This man I am seeing is a sweet guy, and I find him very attractive. I know him pretty well and I have a feeling he is very honest with me but then again what if I am just so trusting that I am blinded by my own stupidity for lack of a better word. I know my ex husband was a sex addict and that was the reason he cheated on me. It wasnt my fault. The man I have been seeing for the past year is very sexual and we could have sex four or five times a day if we are together all day. We are very attracted to each other. And he is so loving and affectionate that I just want to have sex with him a lot. I am just afraid that I am getting involved with another sex addict. My ex husband and I never had sex this much, I found that I just didn't want to have sex with him too much because he was a grumpy guy and that turned me off. This man is very sweet and loving. He turns me on because of that. He also pays a lot of attention to me and it makes me want him that much more. Why does it scare me then that we have sex so much? It is a year into our relationship and it is just getting "hotter" and we have sex even more now than when we first met.Is this ok? We have a lot of fun together when we are not kissing or being sexual, we laugh a lot and he is very fun to be with. We are planning a day trip this Thursday and I am very excited to spend the day with him - we both have the day off from work. I guess my question is how much sex is too much and when is it a problem in a relationship or when is it indicative of an underlying addiction? I am scared that our relationship is not what I think it is.... even though he tells me he cares deeply for me and is always concerned about me and expresses how much I mean to him on a daily basis. Sorry for the length of this post and the rambling on and on...I just need assurance that I am not going to fall in love with a sex addict again.....
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cheated on me, divorce, kissing, my ex, prostitute, sex addict, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): dear, if you re-read your post you will know how much sex is too much. Its too much when you don't want it. Its too much when your turned off by it. Sometimes while looking for the pot of gold we neglect to see the beautiful rainbow. My point is, not every one is like your ex... (quit trying to be able to identify how to identify).. the truth is people can be liars and cheats... but, they can also be beautiful. You may not be able to tell when someone is lying to you and there is nothing we can do but deal with it and try to surround our self with honest caring people. Go enjoy your rainbow !
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): I think your fears, though understandable based on your experiences, are exaggerated and have little basis in reality. Your current bf is clearly very into you - and, yes, sex is an important part of that - but that's often the way when guys are totally head over heels for a girl. He seems decent, so don't become overly paranoid about having an energetic sex life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): you know...there arent any guarantees...at the end of the day it boils down to choices. You chose to trust or not. I call it womens intuition. You may not have known that your ex was an addict etc, but you knew that he wasnt that into you. He wasnt concerned about your feelings and didnt make you feel loved, special, cared about and beautiful. You cant trust everyone. But ultimatly you will have to chose on this one. Spend time togethes, and watch him in different settings. Good luck sweetheart
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