A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I've been with my bf over 18 months. Its been turbulent. His highs and lows have taken a toll on me. He constantly accuses me of cheating (I never have) thinks I talk to men online (never have) calls me sneaky all the time. Looks at my cell. Questions everything. I feel like he's my dad not my bf. He scolds me over comments I make on my fb account. Not allowed to have any male friends on there cause apparently they all want to have sex with me. He does things alone, goes to lounges. I'm never invited. I never go out unless he's with me.I found a bobby pin in his washroom a month ago. I asked whose it was. He doesn't live with any females. He then said it was mine abruptly. I don't wear bobby pins. I let it go as he was getting angry. When he goes out he's so private. He never tells me. Could he be the one cheating and trying to blame shift? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (15 September 2010):
 he is cheating on you (very likely), he doesn't trust you and treats you with a lack of respect. why are you still with him? if someone was that intrustive and controlling i would leave them wether they were cheating on me or not. he sounds like a pain in the arse- why put up with it?
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (15 September 2010):
 Yes, that sounds very suspicious. That's a really common thing when one person is cheating, to constantly irrationally accuse the other person of cheating. And that bobby pin makes it 100x more likely. I think a little snooping might be justified here. Also be aware of things like any changes (down or even up) in his sex drive, significant changes in his mood (especially happier), or a sudden increase in personal hygiene.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): My first husband (a REAL JERK) used to call me a slut and accuse me of flirting and making passes a other men all the time.
Turns out he was cheating the whole time. And later, before I finally got wise enough to get out, he made blatant passes at other women in front of me and denied it later.
I believe your guy has control issues and possibly some cheating tendencies.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, holistic +, writes (14 September 2010):
some time ones insecurity plays upon ones self. His fairs and insecurities is making him behave in a neurotic way.If he is cheating its not because he don't love you. He is acting up upon the things he fair the most. All those things that he is accusing you of he is probably doing it him self and its his guilt that is making him acting that way. People who behave in this way, also have low self esteem.
You need to sit down and talk to him. A relationship without any trust and honesty is not healthy.It will be something that he will have to work on. If a person have total self belief and confident there is no need for jealousy.
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