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Controlling love without ignoring her.

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Question - (9 December 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 10 December 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear all

Before I begin, this is not me feeling suicidal, lol; however such info is needed to understand the ‘scene’

I live in a rural area that has no potential for ambitions and good-living and that has few people, who stand out and what to be ambitious and decent instead of choosing the easy, bad routes in life.

At 15, 15 is a terrible age, your meant to be a ‘anti-society/rules and regulations, disobeying and immature’ teenager well, I’m not that, to be honest some call me ‘old man’ cause I’m too sensible and don’t want to be this ‘fake horror’ that many my age are.

Many colleagues have been fake, users and un-trustworthy, bad friends. One really messed with my mind last year; she drove me nuts, as she gave me feeling s of love however been at such an innocent age made me unaware of how much she was a user.

Family circumstances have made me unhappy and I treasure being with friends who are a-like and remind me of my ambitions whilst in my dull surrounding.

A new colleague is the first ‘female’ I have met to be so a-like, and this is my problem. She’s so mature like myself (sorry to sound arrogant), she’s fun, like’s my hobbies, she’s beautiful etc, however she has a bf! I was so gutted to discover the fact that she had a bf; however it should have been no shock considering how nice she is.

Last week we spent nearly an hour waiting for a delayed train, we chatted and she indulged me so much into her amazing mind, we didn’t flirt but I felt there was some ‘interest’ between us, displayed clearly, firstly her nerves nous, secondly playing with her hair, thirdly liking me being polite but didn’t want to let me do more for her, fourthly blinking franticly etc, fifthly, long gaps of silence oh and laughing at anything slightly humorous.

Her bf gives the impression of a*e to me, (haven’t met him yet), I don’t think he appreciates her that much. I know it sound’s wrong at my age, bt honestly I feel I’m in love with ‘her’, but it’s wrong as she’s taken, how can I control feelings of deep love and attraction, without ignoring her?

Many Thanks

763

View related questions: ambition, flirt, immature

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007):

Hi Hunny

You do sound very grown up for your age, You could become friends with this girl, but dont have expectations if you are both like minded people there is nothing wrong with talking and continuing a good friendship. Always respect that she has a b/f I no that you are feeling more than just friends but in situations like this you could loose a good friendship as this could develope. Someone that has the same interests as you and someone you get on really well with are hard to find sometimes... It is hard to have a male friend who likes you in a romantic way shall we say as I have been there and I had to stop contact for awhile so as not to encourage it any longer, It hurt a great deal as I loved him as a friend and we had been friends a long time... Her b/f in your eyes may not treat her with the respect you feel she needs but hunny thats her choice.

You dont have to ignore her just be her friend, I understand how you feel, And at your age it feels like your world has ended as you feel so much for her, But it hasnt you just have to be in control or try as best as you can not to get hurt by your feelings, I wish you luck take care with love MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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