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female
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*ie Based Action
writes: My husband of ten years is a construction worker. An opportunity has arisen for him to start working in a hair salon that belongs to a high school friend of his. It´s a job he's always aspired to and has a natural talent for. On one hand, the it's a safer, cleaner, less tiring and more fullfilling career. And I want him to be happy.On the other, the thought of him spending the entire day in a salon surrounded by beautiful women, plus the fact that his hair dresser friend is extremely unfaithful to his wife concerns me. I'm afraid that he'll either end up leaving me, or that I´ll be constantly suspicious and never have piece of mind. My dilemma is: If I don't allow him to embrace the opportunity, I`m afraid he'll become resentful. However, I feel that if he does take it, it will ruin my marriage.Help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Pie Based Action +, writes (23 May 2006):
Pie Based Action is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forgot to mention, although we presently have a five star marriage, we did go through a rough patch several years ago, where he would spend all his time on chat rooms having naughty convos and watching naked chicks, as well as receiving text messages every 15 minutes. I even intercepted a text message from a girl whom I later spoke to that said he swore he wasnt married...
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female
reader, aunty butterfly +, writes (23 May 2006):
 you have been married for ten years,really i would have thought you'd know if you trusted him or not by now. i think that you maybe just a bit scared of the changes he's making to his life you no longer think it has anything to do with you anymore,it still has everything to do with you,you are his wife and everything that affects him does the same to you but you must try talking to him about your fears but make sure he knows that you're not trying to put a dampner on his dreams,it's just you have been familiar with the way things have been for so long that it's like a new adventure just about to start,so ask him to help you through this change... his dreams are yours and visa versa....good luck to you both ...Aunty B xxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2006): i think you should let him go for this job of his but i also suggest that you keep a close eye on how things go at this salon and if he starts acting strangely then follow that behavior down to the source if he loves you enough to stay with you for 10 years i think he loves you enough not to cheat although this friend of his sounds like a nasty peice of work to me and i think you should to your husband about taking to much advice from him a subtile hint from time to time might help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2006): Well though your worries are founded, I also believe that you just basically underminded your trust with your husband. You must not trust your husband at all. How did you two get married in the first place? You might as well encourage him to get a 'job' at a monastery. I believe you definitely have a much more fulfilling lifestyle with a monk.
[sigh]
You said you "want him to be happy". No, you SHOULD have said, "I want him to be faithful". [ponders]
I believe I would get quite insulted if my wife thought/felt that way towards me. Since you already made up your mind, obviously, you're going to try to sway him to NOT be what he wants to be. Ah, how frustrating.
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