A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met a man who treated me like a queen..it was truly a fairy tale. Every morning I woke I would have a Good Morning beautiful text..ect. Throughout the course of our relationship he surprised me with an expensive car because he said he had the means and wanted to do it because I do some much for other people. With the car came a letter that this was gift and he asked for nothing in return, except my love. During this time he also planned a trip to Europe for two weeks. I about a month ago we were texting and I received a text that had nothing to do with our conversation. It was as if it was sent to me by accident. I questioned him and he said he didn't send it. I told him text msgs don't write and send themselves. It made him mad that I questioned him and things changed dramatically. When we went away recently he wsa very distant and would take his ipad/phone into the bathroom with door shut. Fast fwd..he cxld our trip w/out telling me then said he didn't want to be in a long term relationship anymore. Two hours before this he was texting me calling me "honey" but would not answer the phone the whole day. My bf did a total 360 turn..all of my friends are shocked because they all thought he was going to propose on our trip.We live in different states and I had arranged to fly to his place, meet with him and get my things..he left a suitcase with my things. I was so hurt! I called and left a message that we need to discuss the car he gave me. He has been making all the payments, but now wants me to take them over. My questions are: Do you think he started seeing someone else? What do I do about the car? Any chance to get him back? I'm trying to do the 30 day no contact in hopes that he'll come to his senses. Any advice appreciated. BTW...we are in our 50's and he is very successful. Thank you...it's been a rough few weeks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2014): I'm sorry this is happening. Now, are you sure there is not more to the story you are omitting? It went from a fairy tale to you simply asking a question about a text and him backing off completely? Was there more to that incident that you didn't express here? If that is what happened and your story is pretty accurate then here is my opinion and my advice. I think most likely he is seeing another woman. And was waiting for anything that he could use as a reason to break it off with you. He took something so trivial and blew it up out of proportion. That is what guys do when they are having an affair. That way in their minds it gives them an excuse to leave you. If it wasn't the text message it would've been something else. He was looking for any reason to create an argument so that he would feel justified in breaking things off. Cause he is too much of a wimp to come right out and tell you the truth, probably that he met someone else. As for the car, a gift is a gift. He can't give you something then take it back. He bought that for you so it is his responsibility to finish the payments. That's his problem that he couldn't follow through with the fairy tale he promised you. Cease all communication with him about the car. It is his credit on the line if he stops the payments. And yes I would cease all communication with him, period. He is being a complete jerk. Be strong.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 September 2014):
 Just get your stuff and ask HIM to take back the car. You "DARED" to question him and this is the result, he got mad. There WAS strings attached to the car and that was not a "love me" - it was a NEVER ask me anything, don't ever doubt me.
As for the odd text, well - I just got a text from two weeks ago, it wasn't a continuation of the conversation (we usually WHEN texting use reply - so it's basically a continuation) but this one was pertaining to that conversation but out of the loop somehow. And it took 2 weeks to show up on my phone. Which again is odd, but it has happened that a text is displayed, not often though, but I don't text much. It could have been one to someone else.
The fact that he went so overboard in showing you his disdain for you asking him, just shows his true self. THIS is who he is. IF ANYONE dare to question him, they will feel his anger. And he shows his anger by using the silent treatment and cold shoulder.
He might WANT you to take over the car payments, but before you even consider that... MAKE sure and double sure you can afford it. If not, then do as above mentioned and ask him to take it back.
You can't change his mind. He has decided you broke a "rule" in HIS book (question him) and it's over.
I'm sorry. He sounds a little off the hinges.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (22 September 2014):
 Hes probably seeing another woman but is like most men too ashamed to say so. His behavior is def erratic and seems like he cowered away from you. If he isnt seeing another woman id be surprised.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2014): Imo, he sounds like some sort of con artist or narcissist. I'm not sure how long you have been involved but giving you a car early in a relationship is a red flag. If the car is in his name just tell him to pick it up or arrange to have it transported to him or something like that. You are the one that needs to come to your senses. End it and move on.
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