A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Any advice would be great please.. So the thing is, I'm 24 now and this all started many moons ago when i was 10. I've always been mad after this lad I've been close to, I literally fell head over heels with him. We have always been on off where we would meet up and get with other and part ways then,but as of the past few years I've always wanted more with him.. The thing is he says he does too but always seems to change his mind or something.. When it comes to me myself he seems off or something. BUT...he does anything he can to close to me, if I'm in the same room as him he always tries to get close to me and to make sure I see him or be near him and on every occasion, we kiss, and ita always him who goes for it. If my friends are near him he always goes up asking where I am and he'll ring and text me to see where I am. and he refers to me as his future wife and calls me his future girlfriend and always talks about me and I've found out from other people he is always on about me to them and saying he loves me.. Even if I'm walking down the street and if he's passing he will make sure that I see him and he will text me stuff like "ill always know that smile" and asking me if I love him.. Thing is for some reason he doesn't believe I love him or anything.. Thing too is he has a son, he had a son young and he's the most handsome boy on the planet and I know he is his whole world. When he was with the mother of the child we were still close and when they broke up we started meeting again and I held off to loose my virginity with him and I did.. On top of it all his family and friends and my family and friends always say we'll end up together because its obvious that we love each other.. I just don't know if I can keep going waiting for him or just walk away.. Id love nothing more then to be with him and his son. It's just I don't know if he is really interested or what to do about the whole thing.. Id really love and appreciate someone's help... Please
View related questions:
broke up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (10 April 2015):
 If he wanted to be with you, you'd have no doubt because he'd be asking you to be his.
What you describe is a guy who knows you like him but isn't interested enough to pursue you.
I would advise you to go through the grieving process about this and then, I would put this whole thing behind you.
If friends or family ask about the relationship, just tell them that it's one thing to be a potential boyfriend, it's entirely another to be an actual boyfriend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2015): [EDIT]: "He sits close to only to bask in your admiration; not because it means anything to him."
CORRECTION:
"He sits close, only to bask in your admiration; not because it means anything to him."
Sorry about that.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2015): You say you've been off and on. How?
It seems that he knows that you're crushing on him. He may be joking around or mocking you; when calling you his future wife or girlfriend. Seems he doesn't take you seriously at all. He sits close to only to bask in your admiration; not because it means anything to him. He treats you like a fan.
Not to say he isn't fond of you; perhaps not in the same way you feel about him. You've carried an unrequited love for this man, hoping he'd someday realize you're the one he loves. That happens mostly in the movies.
All of his actions as you describe them are pretty meaningless; until he seriously lets you know he wants to date you, and perhaps have a relationship. You're avoiding your maturity. You have to outgrow your childish feelings.
You really shouldn't place your love-life on-hold as you have, on so little evidence that this guy means what he says. I don't know what all the others are talking about. They are just talking like people do when they hope they can push a couple together. Playful match-making. Maybe they feel sorry for you.
Do you ever wonder why he can't be serious about it, if he has feelings for you?
I think it strokes his ego. I don't think he appreciates it beyond that.
He's flaky and immature. He's messing around with your head and playing with your emotions.
If You want to know if he really has any romantic-attraction for you? Ask him. Get a definitive and serious answer. It's time to set yourself free. Stop waiting for his feelings to finally come your way. That may never happen.
Time to grow-up and leave that guy behind.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (9 April 2015):
You don't mention what kind of talks you guys have had. Is tell him must of what you said here. Tell him that you don't want to wait anymore. If nothing changes there's your answer.
By the way, "literally" how you used it means you did a flip of some sort.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 April 2015):
 I don't know what your family and friends are seeing that made them say it's obvious he loves you. When you love somebody you don't call her future girlfriend. If there is a reason why he can't be in a relationship I would guess he has to work hard to support himself and his son. Maybe he wants to afford a better place, and wants to go to school at the same time. That leaves no time for relationship. It's not fair to keep you waiting for an indefinite period of time while he figures out his life goals. There is also a possibility that he might want to get back with the mother too, after his career takes off. If he doesn't believe you love him, that's because he has little to offer you besides the occasional intimate time.
...............................
|
