A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The love of my life left me a month ago due to the fact that she felt I was being too obsessive of her. We were in a long distance relationship for over 3 years and she's very dear to me. She felt obligated to stay with me and she didn't want the commitment anymore. Thing is I'm so confused cause I wasn't controlling her in anyway. I know I had that problem in the past but I've gotten better and she knows it. I never prevented or got angry at her hanging out with friends or even talking to guy friends over the phone. I trusted her, well to some extent, she has always been unpredictable neverless I trusted her. Now she tells me she loved our relationship but didn't like that some things had to be certain ways. But it's not like I was being controlling of her in anyway. She said she didn't want the commitment but before she never left me for any guy cause she loves me but she said at the same time she felt like she was obligated to be with me because if she didn't then our whole future would fall but if she loved me for so long she would want a future with me I wasn't in anyway telling her she had to marry me or else, I just didn't want her dating anyone else when she has a relationship withn me cause it causes conflicts. It's like she wanted to have her cake and eat it too. Besides that though I never controlled her in anyway and it's only typical for someone not wanting their partner to go out with other people when they're already in a relationship but I never forced her. I wouldn't tolerate just letting her see other guys, I told her if she did then it's over between me and her and then she would start crying and begging for me back. Besides that she was more obsessive over me. She would tell me things I never told her, like saying I'm truly perfect and that she loves me more than anyone in the universe and just 2 weeks before she left she said she'd do anything for me and always talked about marrying me, things I would never say and now she leaves cause I'm being too obsessive? How does that make sense? Sometimes I felt relieved when she would be gone for the week cause I could do my own thing cause when she was around I didn't want to come across as neglectful. But I still love her to death and want to be with her. I just think her reasons for leaving me are stupid. I was always there for her throughout those 3.5 years. She did say she felt as if though she had to show a lot of interest in me in order for her to show me that she loves me, that my obsessiveness caused her to be obsessive. I'm just confused and none of it makes sense. Anyone else been in this same situation or had a similar breakup? Would really like to know how you handled it.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (12 April 2010):
It sounds like she did love you, but just wasn't happy.
You aren't automatically happy, even if you are in love.
Sometimes you have to say that a relationship just isn't worth the pain and it sounds like she knew she would be happier being single.
Let her go and find someone who you can actually be with, and not just long distance pen pals.
Good Luck!! xx
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