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female
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anonymous
writes: My fiance and I have been a couple for over 2 years and have been engaged for 6 months. We have a date to get married this December. He and I both divorced with 2 kids each. Mine are 13 and 15. His are 5 and 9. Him and his ex-wife (of 11 years marriage) divided up their kids, so they each take care of a kid. He pays $1000 every month to his ex for child support until the kid reached 18. I just discovered from him the other day that he will have to pay his ex $500 each month after their kids reached 18 or pay a lum sum of $50,000. This is for alimony and based on their divorced decree. I'm a homeowner and he is not. Even with the upside down mortgage market, my home still has a capital gain of at least $75 - $100K if I put it on the market. His annual salary is $95K and mine is $65K. Neither have credit card balance. His ex-wife is a spendthrift and short all the time. She is a 3rd grade teacher and about to lose her job due to education budget cut. Can she legally ask for additional child support after her ex-husband and I married and have a combined income? Should I have my fiance sign my prenup? Should we keep our finance separately after we got married?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (20 June 2008):
 Sounds to me like you should set aside a couple hundred dollars and go see an attorney with experience in domestic law and finances to make sure that what's yours and what's his and what's owed to the ex-wife are carefully spelled out. I'm not an expert in this, and I don't really have any better advice than that.
Smiles has given you some really good advice, so listen to her!
Congratulations on your wedding plans, by the way!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): You have two children to take in consideration.
You should not consider getting married without a signed "prenup".
That will just protect you financially and also your children. Can you imagine, a few years down the line, selling your house to pay his ex, and then if things don't work and you get a divorce?
There is no gaurantees in life, do not risk your assets.
You should also have a will, leaving at least your house to your children.
I suggest you and your fiance must discuss all these matters now, before getting married. Decide who will pay what or contribute towards what.(Personally I whould suggest you keep your finances separate).
I know it might not seem all that important now, but you have to. These are the things that can cause lots of problems and unhappines later.
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