A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello all. I'm 19, I have a boyfriend which I'm not physically attracted to. But I do care about him. The problem is that I am physically and emotionally attracted to girls. Which would mean I'm probably bisexual or a lesbian in the worst case scenario. I'm ok with that, but there is a bigger problem, which is a bit embarrasing. When I masturbate, I can only get an orgasm by thinking sadistic thoughts with my bf involved. I'm really confused and worried. Is there something wrong with me?
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female
reader, Cherriepie +, writes (16 July 2008):
 If your not physically atracted to your boyfriend, do him a favor and break it off with him... I cant see being wth a guy i cant be with in bed. Like the previous post said you can warm up to a guy and eventually find him more attractive, but you said you have been with him and still dont find him attractive...why are you ahnging on to him? Ditch him hunny ...find a guy you want to screw!
As for you feelings that you are attracted to women...you need to do some more exploring on it. Dont count it out yet until you have tried it. Being Bisexual means you are more free with your sexual life...not limited to just men, and I have always liked guys...but now i like girls too.
My guy wants to marry me, but i have to be honest with him..i like being with my girlfeidns too, and I wont give that up yet.
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (16 July 2008):
 Hmm. Well, to be honest, you sound just a bit generally confused to me. If you were a lesbian, I don't think your bf would be in your fantasies. It sounds more to me like you can't quite find your place - you can't quite work out who you are sexually. Me, for example, I always have fantasies about meeting a perfect (male) stranger in a train carriage ; ) - and I am the innocent one. Some people imagine themselves the aggressors. It all truly depends on your sexual personality, and I don't think you've found out who you are yet.
Are you not attracted to any boys? You know, the boyfriends I've ended up most attracted to are ones who at first didn't seem that interesting. It depends what they do in bed, and how they are with you. Just because this bf isn't your cup of tea, doesn't mean to say no man is. And even finding women attractive doesn't make you gay. Look at all that ridiculous porn on the net. It all focuses on the woman. The men are just faceless dicks, really, aren't they?! But women who watch that porn are often completely heterosexual (as are those women in the films).
I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I think you need to calm down about your feelings for women - so what. I think you should try a man you actually fancy before you give up on men. And I think you could try some other scenarios for your fantasies. If they all end up similar though then that's just who you are sexually - you don't say if you are victim or aggressor in the fantasies, but either way, it's all perfectly natural, for you. Anything goes.
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