A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, My girlfriend and i have been together for over 2 and a half years and its basically both of our's first proper relationship...We had booked a holiday around 3 months ago and fully paid it off together for our first holiday together, Around a month ago we split up over a massive arguement and she turned and said she doesnt love me as a boyfriend nomore just loves me for who i am which i accept fully!I find out 2 nights later she is kissing another lad at a party and has now met him quite a few times, i have never wanted anything so much in my life than to go on this holiday with her, but its been a month now with her meeting this new lad quite often!I'm really upset and try and convince her that this is wrong because we are going on holiday and i dont want it to ruin OUR holiday, she is persistent that this holiday wont stop her with what she is doing... I don't know what to do... Bare in mind since we split ive slept at hers a couple of times and we have kissed and cuddled both times!Her new lad has turned and asked her to go which she replied that she is definately going, and he has asked her not to kiss me or not to sleep in the same bed!I dont know what to do, ive never wanted something so much than to go on holiday with her and have a nice time, a kind of farewell if you get me... but im thinking of cancelling the holiday because i cant get out of my mind the fact shes kissing someone while im at home depressed and grieving :(The holiday is in 25 days time aswell! Bare in mind this girl had slept with another lad behind my back twice before and i forgave her.... A bit of advice is needed as i dont know what to do, any replys will be grateful!Thank you in advance
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (24 April 2010):
Get shot she is a slapper. There I have said it you deserve much better. Holiday go if you feel OK with it sleep with her and then when you return - tell her to F--- Off.Do not be bitter it is not worth it, it shows that the relationship was going nowhere and we all have differing commitment levels. We are all very strange as well I should know. Do not take her actions as a failure on your part it is just the wheels of life turning?Chin up there is someone close by for you-but you need to look a little harder, she is quite and unassuming, ring any bells????????????????????????
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 Geeze. You need to let her go. Go find a new sweetheart to go on holiday with - one that won't bounce you around like a ball because she knows that all she has to do is snap her fingers and you'll come running.
She doesn't respect you. You need to respect yourself and drop her once and for all.
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A
female
reader, basil76 +, writes (24 April 2010):
In my opinion, you need both a reality check, and to improve your self-esteem. Don't bother trying to get her to go with you, obviously she doesn't care about you anymore. Why would you put yourself through that? If you bought the tickets on your own, go! and take someone else, or if "that Holiday" was just ment to be shared with her, either cancell it, change it, or else. Don't just get crumbs, when you can be with someone who really cares about you in a romantic way, and someone who will respect you enough to not to play with your feelings.
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A
female
reader, selena547  +, writes (24 April 2010):
Hi. Well it sounds like to me that you are stuck in a bubble. From a girls point of view she is clearly not interested. If she is refusing to go on a holiday with you, that shows 1)- that she does not want to lead you on in thinking that there might be something there 2)- this is only my guess but she may have kissed you and hugged you as a sign to say good bye, or for her to see if there was still some sort of spark between you guys. 3)- if she was any type of woman to take advantage of you she would go on the trip and then leave you high and dry.
but she isnt going, therefore she is not a materialistic person which means she is clearly given you the signs that she is not interested.
i know its hard to want to belive but i know that is what i would do in her shoes i would not go,
in terms of her seeeing another guy and the fact she cheated on you 2 times while together, also shows that she may have not been that interested from the start in your relationship.
I say go on your holiday but go with a freind a close buddy make it a guys trip and enjoy yourself, do not cancel out on the trip. it will be her lose and you never know she may come to realization that since you went that you are being independant and living YOUR LIFE STILL without her in it. or she may not even care, it can go either way, but for some peace of mind for yourself and to get away from all of this go on that trip with a buddy. Sometimes not getting away from a situation that you are stuck in will only cause you to over anylize the situation more, i think this trip is well deserved for you and only you. If she is screwing around with another guy you deserve much better. I hope this helps if there is anything else im here.
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