A
female
age
36-40,
*tayStrong
writes:I am not entirely sure what my question is.but I would love some advice..actually really need some advice.Anyway 3 years ago my friend introduced me to a friend of hers online, I never met him but we'd talk often over msn etc.He was looking for a relationship where as I had just gotten out of one and wasnt interested.However he kept trying and trying so I distanced myself until eventually we weren't talking.Then earlier this year we got back in contact and met up, at first i seen him as a friend but after sometime I fell madly in love with the guy, and him for me, I knew he loved me, sounds corny but you could see it in his eyes and smile.However we did struggle slightly due to him having aspergers, but we dealt with it as best we could.Anyway a few weeks ago he spent the weekend with me and it was perfect, he told me if he were more spontaneous he would ask me to marry him, brought me flowers etc etc.The thursday following i went to a family party with him and he introduced me to the family members I hadnt met, we then went back to his and go to bed, then we get talking and he tells me he has never been truly happy and that he beleives he is meant to be alone, I comforted him and told him I would do anything to make him happy.Then after a couple of days of minimal contact (and a bad feeling in my gut) he ends things with me, telling me there is something missing from us but that he loves me, then sent me alot of mixed messages saying he didnt no the differnce between dating someone for dating sake and someone you actually like, and that i wasnt the girl for him (he sent my friend the same message for no reason) but then told another friend that he loves me with all his heart and that he wanted to spend his life with me.To say i was distraught was a understatement, but i held it together and stayed calm.I went a week with no contact, but text him after a few drinks to say i missed him, big mistake, the morning after i decided to talk via msn to him to see where things stood between us and he was so cold toward me, like I had done something wrong, so after that i cut him out for my own good as seeing his "happy facebook status" all the time was too much.It has now been another week of no contact and i have found out from friends that he has moved 180 miles away to his dads (this is very unlike him) and that he told people he ended things with me because this was on the cards and apprently he knew I wouldnt go with him (he never mentioned it to me).I am so confused and hurt, we shared so much together and had so many great memorys, I dont want them to be ruined by the ache in my heart, I have lost over a stone in 2 weeks and am basically a zombie walking. I just wondered if anyone has any answers to this or any reason to why he ended things.Sorry for the long message, just wanted to try and get everything in (we also had lots of plans for the furture like a camping trip which had to be cancelled so I dont think it was something that he had planned for a while)
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female
reader, StayStrong +, writes (30 August 2011):
StayStrong is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you both for the great messages.I am trying so hard to move on from it but have a gut feeling that there is unfinshed business between us and that in the future I will hear from him.He was also very addicted to his computer and his xbox, a part of his aspergers, however he has moved without them, this doesnt make sense as he couldnt go a day without going onto them.I realize that what he has done has no excuse, and I should hate him for what he has done, but I just want to be there for him, even as a friend.Guess I will just keep taking it day by day and hope that one day I will be able to move on from this
A
female
reader, StayStrong +, writes (30 August 2011):
StayStrong is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for the great messages.I am trying so hard to move on from it but have a gut feeling that there is unfinshed business between us and that in the future I will hear from him.He was also very addicted to his computer and his xbox, a part of his aspergers, however he has moved without them, this doesnt make sense as he couldnt go a day without going onto them.I realize that what he has done has no excuse, and I should hate him for what he has done, but I just want to be there for him, even as a friend.Guess I will just keep taking it day by day and hope that one day I will be able to move on from this
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A
male
reader, PrinceCharming  +, writes (30 August 2011):
I worked with a a guy with aspergers, he was a great man.But he was really depressed and i could tell he was lonely , because most girls wouldnt give him a chance because of his condition. That is sad that he told you he was meant to be alone, maybe he thinks hes not good enough for you, that could be a reason why he left. You have to get a hold of him and tell him that you cant live without him
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