A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Please no judgements, this hasnt been easy on me as this has carried on for almost 2 years and been very difficult for me emotionally, Ive had a difficult last 2 years which is unusual for me. We met in class and we both were in relationships. I had a crush on this girl, I suspect very much she had a crush on me also.She made a social media account after I was no longer at college which is about a year. College was our only contact, she never came up to me directly while in college but I spoke to her friends. I suspect she was very shy, looking back now it was very obvious which I blew off.I added her on social media but she never added me when she created an account, I have her friends so she knows I would of had this account. She hasnt msged but has replied to my msgs. Ive asked her once to meet up but said shes busy.Fair enough, Ive been flat out but the only contact Ive had is she liked something my social media. I dont follow her and her liking my status is annoying.Should I unfriend her and her friends? Its not like they msg me. I dont want to seem like an asshole so Im confused. Whats the normal thing to do here?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2020): If you're both in relationships; she's not responding, because she's not the cheating kind! If you're still with your girlfriend; she's wise to keep her distance. You're untrustworthy, if you'd cheat on the one you're with!
Even if she is no longer in a relationship; although you've been broadcasting signals you're interested, she hasn't done anything to indicate she's even remotely interested. All you're going by are your suspicions. You should base your pursuit on factual-evidence, my friend. What you've written in your post doesn't cut-it!
Ignore the crush, and just let it ease-off. I think you'll end-up frustrated and disappointed if you keep hanging-on to it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2020): She's not into you. You're misreading her signals with wishful-thinking. At your age, that's very easy; because when you really want something or someone, you will sometimes let your imagination get the better of you. Eagerness, and a healthy sense of entitlement, will make you search for and see signs; or you might read signals that aren't really there.
"I suspect very much she had a crush on me also."
Suspect? That's inconclusive!
You want her, so you've convinced yourself she wants you back! Then go for it!
If you read DC enough; people chasing crushes always attribute their love-interest's evasiveness or nonchalance to "shyness." Then I guess somebody has to make a bold move! If she's shy, it's not likely that she'll be the one!
How long will you both keep dancing around each other for heaven's sake???
Man-up and ask her out for a date. If she rejects you; then the truth is known, and you can get-on with your life. Be man enough to deal with rejection. It stings, but it's not lethal.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 May 2020):
 If you are both in relationships now, Or EITHER of you still are, then yes, I think unfriending and blocking would make the most sense.
Having a crush happens, but what you DO with those feelings shows what kind of person you are. YOU chose to pursue her in a backwards manner through social media through her friends... Why? If you had a GF? I mean if you GF was trying to "friend" some guy she had a crush on you probably wouldn't have liked it, right? So... why would it be OK for you to do so? Doesn't MATTER that this girl also MIGHT have had a crush on you. SHE chose to NOT pursue it because SHE had a BF, which is proper.
No one will think you an asshole for unfriending and blocking them, it's NOT like they are your GOOD friends or that you even talk to them.
And if you find it ANNOYING that she likes your status... then removing her, makes even more sense.
It might also help you move past this crush which is doing nothing GOOD for you.
Let the baggage go. Nothing came of it, it was just a crush.
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