A
female
age
30-35,
*lorathehobbit
writes:Hey I'm really confused...Ok right, long story short I'm 16, used to be straight, then was gay, but as soon as i accepted that i may like girls I went off them... so I am utterly confused.So I'm keeping my options open, I was at a summer camp this year and my friend who is a boy asked me out and I made the mistake of saying yes. I felt sick everytime I was around him, it just wasnt right. I adored him as a friend but thats all. This was sort of weird because well... this isnt solid proof I dont like boys right? Maybe I just dont like him. But in reality if you're friends with a guy and he says he likes you 90% of girls would start liking him back not the opposite.And I had a little crush on my friend, who is a girl. It was nothing huge but feelings are definitely there(I miss her so much :/). But you see, I did definitely go off girls, I wouldnt label myself gay for that reason. I dont look at girls and I rarely have crushes. I used to think that I would fancy any girl, doesnt matter who, before I would fancy a guy but now there's no difference at all.I have the occasional crush on guys but they're only very small, not as big as the crush I have on my friend even though thats not huge.Does this make me bi or even asexual...? Or is this too complicated to label? hahaI know hormones are everywhere during teen years but I feel like I dont even have hormones because the crushes i have are so small and rare... its been going on about three years...
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female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Hey :)
I agree with marieclaire in that maybe you're not ready for that kind of relationship. It's ok to be confused, at 16 I wasn't sure who I was either (not in a sexuality sense but just knowing myself, what kind of person I am).
Maybe instead of thinking about relationships you need to focus on yourself for a while, and what you want. Remember, being gay or bisexual is nothing to be ashamed of and you shouldn't try to put a "label" on yourself. We're all just people, and every single one is a different, complex individual.
When you're younger you're also more prone to experiment with your sexuality to find out what you want. Don't think about relationships but just going on a few dates with both girls and guys could work? Maybe comparing your feelings on the dates? Or doing something as a group with people and thinking about who you're most attracted to there? Unfortunately I don't know how helpful this will be to you as I'm straight and never really thought that I may be gay or bisexual; but I totally understand how scary it is not being 100% sure of who you are.
I hope this is somewhat helpful! xxx
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