A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, I am a 19 year old male and have got all sorts going on in my head sexually, am I gay, bi, straight or what? I know people shouldn't label and I agree, and I agree that sexuality may be like on a scale type thing, I just want to see what people think? And its good to be able to write this down, even if it is to people I don't know.I have always been attracted to men sexually, fantasize about them when masturbating and do like the men in porn when I watch it. However, I don't want a relationship with a man, not even sure I want sex with them, but kissing them and foreplay I do want. I find some men I see attractive, but I don't really find women attractive when I just see them in the street as I do men. I do want sex with women, and the idea does turn me on a lot, but when I fantasize its mainly involving men and sometimes women. The weird thing is, when I do fantasize about women, it seems to be more powerful and I enjoy it more as when I find a video I like in porn when it seems to be more foreplay and emotion involved, not like hardcore porn (weird I know).Also, some days I'm convinced I'm gay, then others men do nothing at all for me, so this just all adds to the confusion. I have never had any sexual experience, I did have a girlfriend a few years back, but nothing happened, but I did fancy her, and still do fantasize about her at times, and I fancy this other girl to bits, but shes with someone. I love when I see couples caring for each other, and I really want that, and one day want a family. I seem to be horny quite a bit, especially recently and get turned on easily :( I can just be lying in bed of a morning and just start thinking about what could have happened with my ex, and what it would have been like, and that gets me going a lot, and brilliantly. I never have had sexual dreams either, so I have no idea what to make of what is going on.I know this is a long post, and is a bity waffly, but I just want to know what people think of it, and maybe your view on where I am on the sexuality scale?Thanks everyone
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male
reader, Jeff8  +, writes (1 July 2010):
It's a little like sushi--can't really say whether you like it till you've tried it. At your age, considering all the hormones boiling inside, real sex with a real person will definitely be pretty amazing. Try it and see. I'd say try it with a girl first. Then once you've got that out of the way get a guy and see which is more fun. Or better yet kill two birds with one stone and get yourself in a threeway. Smoke something if it relaxes you. Then just let your fingers do the walking. They'll take you where you know you want to go...oh and one more thing. Lighten up! It's just sex and it's supposed to be fun. Enjoy it. You're 19 and you've got all the time in the world to try things. And no matter what you try, and how mindblowing or boring it turns out, it's not permanent...it washes off in the shower so you'll be fresh and clean to try something else. Have a great life and don't let anybody--including yourself-- try to pigeonhole you into any category ever.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): Look up Alfred Kinsey's scale!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): I'm afraid there is no easy answer here :/
I think, given you are attracted to both men and women, it's more about the person than their gender.
You need to experiment, go out and get chatting. You say you've never had sex, therefore it's hard to tell how you'd feel acting out your fantasy.
I wouldn't get too bogged down about this, you were in a relationship with a girl and loved it, so i'd start there. Go get a girl and see how it feels, if it's wrong, try a guy. I can tell you from experience that a lot of people are attracted to both sexes, but wouldn't necessarily want a relationship with both.
I hope I've helped x
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