Confused about my feelings for this older guy vs. the guy my age

A female age 30-35, *eggieeeeex3 writes:

I left school in June this year. I suffer with depression. I loved school an awful lot and missed it unbelievably. I was delighted in September when I heard from a teacher, asking if I'd like to assist in teaching a year 7 class every Friday afternoon. It meant I could go to school on a regular basis, see my old teachers and gave me something to use as a distraction from all of the stuff going on in my life. In the second week of working there, I was sat in a room with my old maths teacher. He's 35 and a bit of a joker. He was always really cool. You know the type of people who insult people and make it funny? He was one of those and he was everybody's favourite teacher. Not one person disliked him. However, he's not the best looking and is rather short. Anyway, he offered me a lift home and I accepted. That night we started talking over facebook. Over 300 messages sent and received in one night. It became a habit. We talked everyday for four weeks. One day, my friends stole my phone and read my messages off him. She thought there was something going on and gave me a massive lecture saying he was too old and that I belong to the school till I am 18. So it's illegal. But there was nothing going on. I promised myself and my friends that nothing was ever going to happen because I didn't find him attractive whatsoever, we were just friends. And he worries about me a lot because of my depression. They eventually accepted the fact that we're just friends, although they still wound me up every now and then. Describing weird scenarios etc. But it was just a laugh. I am now seeing a boy my age. But he's a bit too self-obsessed and hoover-like. And two of my best friends like him as well. I don't want to give him up in case I decide I like him and can't get him back (It's happened before). However, a few days ago, the teacher I'm friends with updated his relationship status to 'in a relationship'. I got upset and it me think, if I don't like him then why am I getting jealous. He's 18 years older than I am and I don't know if he's ever go there with me. We've had a conversation or two about it. He said he's too old and I'm too tall (I'm 6foot and he's like 5foot4). But that's the only thing stopping us. I'm not sure if he's actually in a relationship or if he's pretending to be because he knows my friends suspect something. I can't really ask him because it's got nothing to do with me. I really don't know what to do. Do I finish with the boy I've got to risk telling him or do I keep him and pretend my feelings for the teacher don't exist. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. It's worsening my depression because of the indecisiveness and confusion. I need help really bad. :/

View related questions: best friend, facebook, jealous

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A female reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 October 2010):

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A female reader, Meggieeeeex3  +, writes (25 October 2010):

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A female reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 October 2010):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010):

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