A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so. Erm, this is hard for me to explain. I don't really know where I'm at right now, I'm kinda confused. So I have this friend. About a year or two ago, she came out to me as bisexual. I've always been very open-minded and an avid supporter of gay rights, never had a problem with it whatsoever. She knows a lot of people who are also bi and gay and being around that community so much, seeing two guys or two girls kissing just seems natural to me now. Anyway, she and I have always been friendly with each other. However, I just enjoyed our friendship and didn't really think much of it. That is, until she got her first girlfriend... I began to feel a little jealous, and although her girlfriend was a nice girl, I was quite relieved that, once they broke up, our friendship was back to normal. I began questioning myself as to whether I liked her or not. Everything was fine with us, we were close and even a little flirty, it almost seemed as if she liked me. Then we met up with an old friend of hers. She never said that she liked him. Like at all. Even though he'd told her before that he had feelings for her. And, after that meeting, he asked her out. And she accepted. I was gutted, but what was I to do? I'm too nice to try to sabotage their relationship, so I just tried to not get in their way at all. For their sake. But he's serious about it. Me and my friend are both 18, and this boy is 20. He's so clingy towards her, he's talking about marriage and proposing when she turns 19! I mean, he even showed me a picture of the engagement ring he plans on using! WTF?And of course, she loves the compliments and laps them up. Every 'I love you' or kiss. It feels like she loves being accepted this way, especially as she's had trouble with that in the past. And she likes inviting me along when they're together. I hate this. Despise it. I feel like a third wheel. I have to keep a straight face while he's drapped over her like a hungry octopus or while they make out right in front of me or while they sneak away to talk privately. No, she and I have known each other long and she considers me her best friend. How could she exclude me that way? Even if she has a boyfriend now, that's NOT on. They even make me sleep with them in the same bed when we both sleep over at her house. The other day, at the cinema, he was with her (he sat in between she and I! Urgh!!!) holding her and I was there, with my little heart breaking in two, trying not to cry. Of course I can't say anything to them. And the thing is, she's totally paranoid, neurotic and even a little self-involved, and I still can't help but like her! This is eating me up inside. No one knows about it. What do I do? We always hug, hold hands. It fuels me on. And it makes me feel sad cuz she's still with her boyfriend...The thing is, being put second place and ignored now she has a boyfriend might be why I feel like this. When she was single I never made a move. Though I could have just been nervous. I mean, this is all new to me. Any help? Thank you SO much in advance.
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best friend, broke up, flirt, has a boyfriend, jealous, kissing, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Well, since she is not married you still have an opportunity to say something to her. You don't need to sabotage her relationship or anything, just talk to her. Since she continues to bring you along, hug you, sleep in the same bed with you there is a good chance she wants more from your relationship as well. She just may not be pushing too hard because she thinks you're straight.
The longer you wait to say something, the more time will run out and then you will miss your chance. Tell her how you feel... privately. (not in front of her boyfriend) You'd be surprised... she may be excited and relieved that you finally told her you feel the same way.
A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (13 April 2010):
I am a little confused and you are the cause. You are batting on about the behaviour issues and yet allow yourself to be used.If you want to try the scene then do so but you must let your frined get on with her life, more so as she is a few years younger than you.Its you who is scared - so try something - what is there to fear? Move on as I think all you pair have is a crush on each other?
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