A
female
age
41-50,
*ookiemon77
writes:(Mod note: Two questions from this OP)1)Hi,The other day my husband was talking about life insurance and about our house. Then I started thinking the other day about my husband and my future together. He is much older than me and we have no kids, he has two grown kids from a previous marriage that do not speak to him. I was thinking that if something ever happend to him I could be left out on the street because our house is only under his name and even so he has two children which in the state of virginia would get half of the house and for me to be able to give them there share I would have to sell our house and what if I am 60 yrs old and have to go threw fighting with his family if could have things straghtend out from the begining. I'm not talking about not leaving anything to his kids because those are his kids but I don't want to be left out on the street. If something were to happen now I could probably land on my feet or can even start from scratch and I have my own money I'm not talking about money I could care less. It's just having to go through these situation worries me. I want to ask him about a will but do not want to sound like if I was a gold digger because he really has nothing anyway its just to secure our and my future when he is not here. What should I do?2) Hi,I've been having dreams about havings sex with my husband. We hardly have sex any more because he's tired and has alot of work and is always stressed. Last saturday the job called him all morning. When we were making love the phone rang and he said sorry I have to pick it up while we were doing it. But after a short while he came to fast and left me hanging again. Usually I don't mind but that day I felt like crying for some reason. I didn't tell him but it made me feel bad. I love him very much. Why do you suppose I'm having those dreams?
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): 1) In regards to your husband, the house and the money..
If your husband is bringing up life insurance, then you have every right to tell him that his speaking of life insurance has got you thinking that you and him should go down to the lawyers and do a will. Tell him it's something that should be done now, before it's too late and you get sidetracked and forget about it for a few years, at which point it might be too late. If you're married, I would get one done as soon as possible, anyway. This way, if something happened to either of you, the other one won't be stuck. If he gives you the gears about it, tell him that he won't be stuck after your gone, either, so he should be serious about it. The important thing when doing a will, if you are married, is to make sure you sit in front of the lawyer at the same time and let the lawyer help guide you as to what might be the smartest options. You can decide to have one or more executors to be in charge of what happens to your stuff in the case that you both die, and you can also be smart and wait until you are in front of the lawyer to ask or discuss how things will be divided after one or both of you die. If you have a family member or friend you really trust, the smartest thing to do is go with two executors who will have to work together to divide things fairly, after the event that you both happen to die at the same time. Make sure one is from your side(friend or family) and one is from his side. This way you can rest easier knowing that things will probably run alot more fairly and smoothly after you're gone. However, if you're worried about losing the house, and it's under his name, you can try to explain to your husband how much meaning the house has, to you, and that you wouldn't want to have to part with it, after he's gone, just to pay anyone else out. Maybe if he understands how much you wouldn't want to have the burden of putting the house up for sale and moving, he'll agree to switch the title to be under both of your names. It is best to eventually do a will, though, because if you don't, the lawyers will actually have their fun with your money and profit off your possessions, and there could be family and friends bickering in court for over a year, in some cases.
Enjoy and love each other while you are alive, but make sure you have a will worked out, which you can go back and revise anytime in life, and have life insurance set up for the future, because the only guaranteed investment in life is life insurance..because as depressing as it is to think about, the fact is, each and every one of us will someday die. Just make sure you and your husband have a pretty great life insurance policy, and unless you are in love with that exact house, you'll have enough money to make a move and live well enough on your own. The other BIG important thing to do, if either one of you have a mortgage that you are still paying on is pay the liability and disability fees that allow you to live in the house, with the bank paying off the rest of your mortgage, should your spouse die or become disabled. This way you'll be able to afford to live on your own after your spouse is gone.
2) About your dreams..
You're having dreams about your husband having sex because you feel the backlash effects on your sex life from the stress and workload he goes through each day. Stress is not only the biggest killer out there, but it also breaks down relationships and parts of them, just as it breaks down the body and allows diseases and conditions to take over. Don't let it stress you out, as it does your husband, because at least one of you always has to stay relaxed and breathe normally, since if you both get dragged down by life's stresses, you'll be sunk. Stress can wear a man's sexual libido and erectile function down really fast, since alot of it is directly related to bloodflow and overall health, as well as testosterone and estrogen levels. If your husband takes a little bit of time out of his busy schedule to slow down and rest or sleep more, and also makes sure he eats extremely healthy and exercises everyday, things might start to look up. If he starts to have real erectile disfunction then it's time for him to seek medical help.
|
