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*onfused Male
writes:Now were do I start ... my wife and I have been married for 17 years we have three boys 15, 10 and 9. Our relationship has been steadily declining emotionally over the past 3 years. It has come to the point that our communication is now declining and we are beginning to have more arguments. Our sexual relationship is non-existent. Neither has seen, nor are we seeing, another person. Over the past two – three years we have talked about the decline in our relationship making commitments to work on this or that. Each time we have done so the relationship goes good for a while than progresses back. When we try this method now, it longer works. I do not know where to go from and am seeking advice. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2009): have you tired being spontaneous??
im sure you guys get busy and distracted and also having young kids...
but sometimes you just have to put in the effort
my advice would be dont be shy about it...dont be shy to give something ago
try something new...e.g role playing even if its not so much dressing up but even going out and pretending your on a first date again!
do something to get the kids out of the house say once a week and put in the effort to do something romantic to just slow it down and relax the less stress the better even just the classic romantic dinner but then maybe leading to an erotic massage get all the oils out have some candles even taking a hot soapy shower together
feeling adventurous? buy some karma sutra books!
do something out of the ordinary to surprise her that will let her succumb to the seduction
try writing a naughty poem/letter telling her how you feel and what you'd love to do to her!
to be honest i wouldnt waste my time talking about even though it might help some couples but i would just dive in so to speak and be as active as i can!
even do the little things beside the sexually intimate part just do more things together on your own once in awhile like going to the movies and do the "couple thing" with other couples or even just renting and staying in cuddling on the couch going out for tea and like i said before even if making it a once a week thing or starting smaller like a once a month thing and gradually doing more and more and making that promise to each other!!!(even though it might be hard at times to do these things you just have to force yourself...you'll end up enjoying yourselves once your doing it)
and to end...
you have to both remember when you were first together and what passion you had for each other
...
"buy her flowers and send them to her work and let her know how much you love her, don't wait for a special occasion just do it (more then once)"!!!
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