A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Currently i am trying to juggle my personal life with work. They keep clashing, my boss calls meetings always towards the end of the day which means i am late getting home. I have 3 disabled family members waiting for me to get home, carers help during the day but if i'm late the expenses build. My boss does not understand why i complain, he just says everyone should adjust during these difficult times. I have adjusted, my brothers stay away as much as possible because of infection. My parents and my sister are very vunerable. There's just me between them and the rest of the world. My job is high risk and i asked to be furlough but was told no. Explaining my current situation does not help, every cough,sneeze makes me think the worst. My job, i work in decontamination of medical equipment. Do you think i should just quit and walk away
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2020): Luck was on my side, after posting this everybody received an email detailing company policy. I was furloughed because i live with vunerable people. Still furloughed and my health insurance covers any loss of wages. Stil annoyed at my brothers, i can understand them staying away but not ringing parents to make sure things are ok that is just wrong. My parents however think less of it then me so i should just let it rest and not complain
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2020): Can you speak with another superior at work about your concerns? Can you speak with your siblings about sharing of family responsibilities? The job you are doing is so extremely important at the moment and you are saving lives by going to work each day. Tell your boss you will leave at x time each day and if the meetings over run you will just leave quietly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2020): [EDIT]
Typo corrections:
"It's never really easy to ask for help from family; because they've already scattered, and will use their kids and spouses as their convenient excuses."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2020): When you don't negotiate or strategize a plan among siblings and family-members for the sharing of care for aging-parents or disabled family-members; they will surely dump the responsibility entirely on you.
If you are a compassionate, but timid individual; nobody feels any guilt about leaving you struggling by yourself. It's never really east to ask for help from family; because they've already scattered, and will use their kids and spouses as their convenient excuses. Now that Covid-19 restrictions are in-place. Walking away from a job in these economic times is a huge risk.
If you can't take a furlough; then you will have to seek assistance for limited home-care or adult-daycare thorough social services.
You may as well swallow some of your pride; and seek some help through public assistance.
If you lose your job, or become homeless; that will become your only recourse anyway. Think logically.
You can't do this by yourself or indefinitely... as you have obviously determined. You've excused or exempted everyone else from helping you; by not squawking and demanding help. You took it all on yourself to be noble and defiant! Now you're stuck in a rut, and they still need help.
You are exposed to the public daily, to and from your job! Explain why your brothers are so concerned about spreading infection? They should get tested, follow strict rules of social distancing, wash their hands; and wear gloves and masks just like you do! They don't have to breath all over your parents and your sister! They can take the same precautions that you do!
Can you afford to quit your job? How will you support yourself, and keep a roof over your head? Push come to shove, they will have to share the cost for hiring an attendant to come in and help your family. Of course, once shutdown restrictions are lifted. Your boss realizes you will have to find a way; and if you need the job, he doesn't have to work around YOUR situation. Some employers are flexible, obviously yours isn't. Nor does he have to be. What if everyone had some sort of family-issue? There would be nobody there to do the job. It seems insensitive; but you have to figure these things out.
Seek temporary help through public-assistance; and arrange for someone to tend to the family a few hours a day. If you have to hire somebody, then share the cost with your brothers. Pray on it!
Contact charitable organizations, local churches, synagogues, temples, and organizations for the disabled; until somebody can offer some sort of option, referral, or assistance.
If you quit your job, you'll end-up forced to do it anyway! You will have to ask your brothers for help. Necessity is going to weigh very heavily on you; until you get it in your skull that's what you have to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2020): Hi
I don't know what is the best thing for you to do, or if you have other choices that may help you, however, I can only suggest that you take the measures of making sure when you arrive home you shower and change your clothes before coming into contact with your family. ( you more than probably do this already). These are very uncertain times and NOBODY knows what's best at the moment, so it is down to 'personal responsibility' and also to challenge anything or anybody you think is putting yourself and others at risk, this includes bosses and managers. You say every cough sneeze makes you feel worse, is this others or you? because anybody who is caughing or sneezing should not be at work anyway and this needs challenging with your boss. If it is you then you need to be off work self-isolating to protect your colleges, this is the 'personal responsibility'. People really do need to take this in their own way, what they feel best for themselves and their family until we know more about it.
Yes, yours is a high-risk job, but at the moment everything is a risk, opening a fridge door in a supermarket, pushing the trolly that has had hundreds of hands touching it. We can go on forever and live in fear or we can take logical sensible precautions to stay safe and shield others. You may feel that you could use this period as a transition period and change jobs but there are not many about are there, you have to do what makes you feel better,it's your life and your family and your choice. Just remember NOBODY OWNS YOU.
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