A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have this co worker who is very flirtatious with everyone and it's causing trouble here at work and for herself. She's a really nice person and I don't think she's doing it on purpose but it's really getting out of hand. The other day, this guy came in and demanded to know if she was every planning on calling him. She seemed startled and complained the rest of the day that the guy scared her and she didn't know what she did wrong. This sort of thing happens all the time to her. She is constantly having girl customers refer to their boyfriend as "boyfriend" and give her a pointed glare and she doesn't understand what she does wrong. She wastes cutomer's time in line chatting about everything under the sun (a story about a friend no one met, her kid, her grandma ...) She's pissed off customers because she's chatting with a male co worker when she's ringing them up. A guy makes a random comment and she turns it into a drawn-out conversation. She's had guys come in from school or another workplace and hit on her and she's always talking about how people "take her wrong" and how they're not leaving her alone. This newer girl was talking about beating her up because she was hitting on her man and we had to explain that the girl does that to everyone and that she doesn't think she's firting. We calmed the girl down but she flat-out told our co worker to not talk to him at all.Is there any way to shut this girl up without hurting her feelings? I'm afraid she's going to flirt with the wrong person and it's going to end badly - either because some girl thinks she's flirting with her boyfriend or some crazy stalker guy really IS going t take her the wrong way.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2014): Depends on how close you are with her and how she reacts to things. She's complaining about the results of her behavior so she may be asking advice, but she's refusing to believe any of it's her fault. If you REALLY have to say something, say something like this, "Molly, you seem to have this problem a lot. That guy who got upset when you didn't call him acted pretty scary - but he could have acted worse. Also, a lot of women tend to think you're hitting on their boyfriends even though you don't mean to. A lot of people really don't appreciate how chatty you are and there's been quite a few complaints. I really think you'd be better off if you said as little as possible to guys. 'Hi, welcome to ___. Can I help you find anything? Your total is ___, thank you for shopping at ___.' That's polite enough and it's all you really need to say. That way, people will stop taking you the wrong way. Save the friendly chit-chat for the women."Of course, I don't think it's good to say anything to her, MAYBE a simple, "Molly, I'm tired of hearing about this. You're a grown woman, YOU figure out what the problem is." If her work performance is off or slow or she makes mistakes due to talking too much, go to a manager explain what her chatting is causing and MAYBE if you express it in terms of concern for her safety and work performance, the manager will look into it. Your co worker just sounds terribly naïve and not too socially aware.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 May 2014):
 You will put your own job in jeopardy if you step in here and confront her directly.
If her work performance is this bad, and she's causing this much problem and she is obstructing your ability to do your job or creating a hostile work environment, then you file your grievance to your boss or to human resources. If she's as bad as you say she is, it'll come as no surprise, and your voice will join other co-workers and customer's.
Sounds like the problem with correct itself if this newer girl beats her up. What kind of place is this?!
Above all, *You* can do your part by demonstrating professionalism. Don't get roiled in the gossip. Do your job with excellence.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2014): Sounds like someone's a little jealous to me. You just can't handle the fact she's prettier/smarter/more well liked/taller/has better tits than you and now you just want to cause shit with her and bully her.
Of course I don't believe any of that but that is what you may face if you stick your nose into this.
Leave well alone and stay well out of this, OP, she may be nice but women like that can turn on you very quickly and make this all about you.
Trust me I've had similar, I thought I was being nice but they ended up being offended that I'd ruined their fun and then decided to focus their attention on me, spread rumours about me, told everyone who would listen her version of what I said which snowballed into people thinking I called her a slut.
OP her life, her problem this id for your manager to sort out. You have to focus on protecting you here, because if she's sharing a workload with you and it's not getting done then you're the one in shit.
OP if she's harming business or putting too much work on you, then speak to her about pulling her weight a little more. Let go of the "being nice" shit, OP, she is who she is. Only what directly effects you should you approach her about. I mean are you there to earn money or sort out people's lives?
Well then all that matters to you is that you protect your source of income. She's a grown woman, let her make her own mistakes. It's up to the manager to ensure she's doing her job well, not you. Stay well out.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (9 May 2014):
Shouldn't the manager step in and try to train her? She's not a little kid and she is there to work. If she is badly stepping out of line then I don't see what her feelings have to do with anything here.
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